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My First MOC- The Wall of Valor.

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My First MOC- The Wall of Valor.

Postby Ryan » Sun Jul 08, 2007 4:32 am

I'd like some feedback on my first MOC, the Wall of Valor. :D
The story:
The Fellowship, which consists of Odin, Remus, Hector, Lycus, Ada, and Lyra, must destroy the Last and Lost Book before it falls into Lord Shadowmere's hands again. To destroy it though, they must find the Eternal Flame and free it so they can burn the book, which leads them on a perilous journey with many obstacles and battles.

Constructive criticism is appreciated!

Link:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9809412@N0 ... 709595714/
-Ryan
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Postby Spongey » Sun Jul 08, 2007 4:32 pm

This is a good start. The landcaping is pretty well done, and you've chosen good colours for a natural look. However, I would recommend putting more thought into your design, so the wall looks to be in better order. As well, try to put more of one brick colour, and accent it with others. Still, a good start to your MOCing career.

Hmm, where have I heard a plot like that before... :wink:
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Postby Ryan » Sun Jul 08, 2007 4:46 pm

Thanks for your kind words. If I ever make something similar to this again, I'll think it out more and possibly make it slant back a little. This creation was just me collecting my BURPs and deciding to make a wall out of them. :D
And yeah, my plot is paper-thin and is kind of familiar- it gets worse because Ada comes back from the dead, just like someone in a similar story. :oops:
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Postby Donut » Sun Jul 08, 2007 6:00 pm

Congrats on your first MOC, it is well done. The only thing that detracts from it is the color of the bricks. Seeing how you're in the process of collection BURPs, I am looking forward to see the new version of this. :)
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Postby Ryan » Sun Jul 08, 2007 6:31 pm

Thanks for the comment. :)
Next time I make something similar it will be larger at the bottom and will get narrower as it gets taller, so it will be more like an actual mountain, not a wall of solid rock. There will also be room for my characters to actually climb! :lol:

Sadly, the Wall will be torn down soon so I can make more MOCs/vignettes. :( Oh well, more to make! :D
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Postby The Shadow Knight » Sun Jul 08, 2007 6:38 pm

UUmmm............... well first, congrats on your first MOC. But the wall didn't really appeal to me. It looks like you just threw a bunch of bricks together. But it is only your first, so it is alright. Try to have more matching colors in there. :D
-May your winds be fair !
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Postby Ryan » Sun Jul 08, 2007 7:20 pm

Thanks for the feedback, I'll keep these things in mind when building new MOCs/vignettes. :)
Also, keep the comments and questions coming!
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