CCC X MOC critiques thread

Discussion of personal LEGO Castle creations
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JoshWedin
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by JoshWedin »

Lord Mercat wrote:Wanted to see if I could get some feedback on this entry to the custom fantasy figure contest.
I really liked the concept on this figure...especially the hair, but the cuts could have been cleaner. The sword was the big problem for me. Again, a good concept but the execution needed some work. I felt like there were too many colors and textures. The shiny black pommel, the grey grip, the flat black cloth-covered guard and the gold blade all fight each other for attention.
Tastymuffins wrote:I'd love to hear anything you have to say about my entry to the castle category. I was rather disappointed I didn't get into the honorable mentions.
As we said to Fraslund, the Castle category was full of really high quality builds. That meant that everyone really had to bring their 'A' game and the difference in scores came down to nit-picks. For me, the biggest issues with yours was the gaps on the sides of the angled wall, since there are easy ways to hide that, and the roof design seemed rather basic for something that was such a statement piece of the build. I think crowning the towers with crennalations would have been more striking and drawn attention to the gorgeous walls. Both are nitpicks because it is a lovely castle, but the others had less significant nitpicks.
Gunman wrote:would appreciate critism on my entry in MISC category


I can sum up my issues with this in two words: Too Busy. You have a lot of good stuff going on in there but it is really hard to pick it out. I bet this looks really good in person, but you had trouble getting pics that showed it to an advantage. The problem is that when building for an online contest, the judges have to be able to see what is going on. For me, the key is if I can get the basic idea of the story without reading the description. I had no clue what I was looking at and had to read the description to get any kind of idea. The first picture I looked at was the overhead view and it looked like a jumble of colors and textures. My advice would be to simplify. Focus on one or two things and blow the doors off of that.
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Bruce N H
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by Bruce N H »

Tastymuffins,

Aesidisi Castle Image
As Josh reiterated, this was a really rich category this year, with a lot of great entries. Yours was certainly impressive. There were some things I really loved, such as the rock-work along the water side, the various window designs set back in recessed arches, and that subtle wave in the water. It does seem like there should have been more elevation change from the water to the land, because at high tide it seems that all that grass would be inundated. One shortcoming I thought was some of the transitions in color didn't look natural. Look, for instance, at the color blocking from green to brown to tan around the mouth of the river. Also, you used a variety of methods for mottling the walls - plates of a dark gray, bricks of dark gray, log bricks of dark gray, and dark gray tiles turned outward. I think it would have looked cleaner if you'd stuck with one of these methods rather than mix them all in. The activity of the figs on this seemed uninteresting. I didn't see any story line or flow to their movement. I suppose it's just sort of 'day in the life', but I would have liked something more involved as far as plot line.

Gunman,

The unexpected Image

Pretty much what Josh already said. You ran into the problem that sometimes occurs with the misc category. When there is no size limit, it is very easy to make a large MOC that is not done justice by three photos. Now that I'm looking at all fifteen, i can see the story line, but I have to admit that I had no idea what was going on with just three. You've got great landscaping, and I really like the flow of elevation changes. The almost fjord-like inlet is really cool. I do agree that the color scheme is too busy and tends to obscure the action. A couple of minor nitpicks: The crypt doesn't seem well done to me, I think that could have been reworked. The tree by the crypt seems spindly - putting a half arch on the end of a half arch gives those limbs an odd shape. I don't know what to make of the Midgard leader with that odd yellow luggage-rack attached to his back. I'm also not sure what to make of the cave-men, though I do really love the rock-work around them.

Bruce
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Gunman
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by Gunman »

thanks guys will keep your advice in mind for future mocs :)
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Glory_Forever
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by Glory_Forever »

Hey guys, I would really appreciate some C&C on this http://www.flickr.com/photos/54727725@N04/8170683557/. Thanks for taking the time to do this :)
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by Bruce N H »

Glory_Forever,

Temple of Dawn Image
First I should note that this was an honorable mention winner, and so got really high marks. I loved the way you did the rooflines, the windows, the landscaping, and that little bridge. There's really nothing I can fault on the build. The main issue I saw was presentation. The photos weren't that great, which makes it hard to see some of the details. Also, your three photos are all pretty much the same. I suppose one is a little closer up, but the other two are overviews, albeit from different angles. I'd like to see some closer-in photos. Perhaps one from a figs-eye view coming up the path would really help highlight the elevation changes, and another from a low angle in the front would help you see the tree, which kind of gets lost in the green-on-green.

Bruce
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friskywhiskers
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by friskywhiskers »

Hey Guys, thanks for doing this. I would like some Constructive criticism on my Daring Escape Entry:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sir_edwyn/ ... 273483062/
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by Gom »

I would appreciate a critique of my entry.

https://picasaweb.google.com/1154816709 ... 28/DropBox

Being my first year entering CCC and winning this category I feel truly honored. There were so many other wonderful entries that I believe were much better than my own. Brother Steven, Captain Flint and Mar of Falworth to name a few.
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by mencot »

This critiques thread is a great thing and big thanks for doing it.
I feel that I have improved alot last year but I know that I need more pointers and critique on what I could do diffrently.
So lets start with the moc I thought was my best entry but was left a bit unfinished because of the deadline:
The Den of thieves
Thanks in advance :D
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by LettuceBrick »

This thread is a great idea!
I would like some constructive criticism on my Forest Life entry:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/70284711@N ... 395131683/

Thank you.
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by Rifiröfi »

Thank you guys for the thread, great idea!

Could you tell me how my dwarves' brewery (http://www.flickr.com/photos/90979715@N ... 385819487/) could have been improved? Thanks!

Cheers
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Legonardo
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by Legonardo »

Well ill start with the one that got no honorable mention,
Image
http://www.flickr.com/photos/67866231@N ... 172971514/
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by KumpelKante »

hey guys,

i like to know, what you have to say about my castle entry:http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=515995

also curious about feedback for my winter scene entry http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=516860

Thanks in advance
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by Bruce N H »

Friskywhiskers,

Escape from the Rogue Tower Image Image Image

First up, your entry didn't really fit the category, which was described as a bandit hero (think Robin Hood) escaping, rather than just anyone escaping from anyone. This came up in question 53 of the contest questions thread. That said, there were several entries that did this sort of thing, and I didn't put excessive weight on this aspect. The second scene, climbing down from the small tower, was by far the strongest of the three parts. That one I had no complaints about - I loved the round base and the landscaping, the birch tree, the shape of the tower, the door etc. The landscaping and tree on the first installment is also excellent, as is the action of the figs. The biggest complaint here is that, as described, this is an ambush where the bandits jumped out of the brush. Given this scene, it seems like the knight should have seen any bandits coming from a mile away. To be an ambush you would think he was going though a thicket, or a narrow pass in the mountains or some other location where he could be attacked unawares. That said, though, the real weak point was the third installment. In terms of the story, he was captured and escaped to find the result, which was, well, nothing really. That was very much a letdown after the first two chapters. Also, in terms of the build, it's supposed to be a busy pub, but it seems to have a lot of empty space. Every busy pub I've ever been in has been crowded, with patrons, servers, furniture, etc. I do really like the wall detailing with the mottling and the brick bricks. Not so sure I like those 1x3 brown slopes, though. The guy in the corner is presumably drunk? That might be a good detail if the bar were very crowded, but it looks odd here. Actually, him in the corner makes it look a little more like a dungeon.

Mencot,

Den of thieves Image

This one did feel unfinished. The fact that one side had to be hidden by a sheet, including one wall of the underground lair, hurt the look. You could see light peeking through in some places where bricks weren't fully pressed together (e.g. in the roof). Also, I understand that you probably didn't have the black 2x2 double concave slopes to fill in the place where the gable meets the rest of the roof, but you should come up with some better solution than just leaving holes, or else don't do the gable and just go with a simpler roofline. Also, I don't know how they get into the underground lair. Is there a trap door in the floor of the pub? Or is there a secret door out through the cliff face? You should show that.

LettuceBrick,

Preparing wood Image

I really liked the two-man saw, the stream, and the use of tan for places they were sawing. I thought the road should not have been all straight. On the two larger trees in back, I thought the canopy of leaves was too small for the length of the trunk. Also, I don't like the brown plates on top of the leaf elements. That doesn't look right. One other confusion for me - are the woodsmen floating the logs downstream, or pulling them with horses? It seems like they would do one or the other, depending on the terrain, but not both at the same location.

Rifiröfi,

Dwarves' brewery Image

There are some things I really like about this MOC, particularly the different techniques used in the roof, and that giant pulley made of wagon wheels, also those tall narrow windows. Perhaps this speaks to my lack of knowledge about breweries, but the inside is a total mystery to me. That green object, for instance, looks interesting, but needs some more context. Also, I don't think the birds-eye view photo is helping you here as it turns out more frustrating than illuminating. One other note, with all that brown (building, wagon, tree), you probably should have gone with a different color for the ground so that the others would stand out more.


Legonardo,

Mage's Tower Image

The round stone tower technique is really cool and was my favorite part about this MOC. I thought the wooden part at the top should have a larger diameter - as it was it looked like just a big tube. I appreciate the difficulties with making round tower roofs, but I thought this roof was too flat. Not sure about the inclusion of a musket on that lamp post at the bottom - in the end it just looks like a musket. I also thought all of the chains and axes around the window were distracting and should have been edited out.

Kumplekante,

The ground rules for this thread said that I'll only comment on one MOC per person every two weeks. So as to be fair to others who want feedback, I'll just go with your first one. If you want to ask about the other, post a request in this thread in a couple of weeks. Anyway:
Burg Lyndwormsfald Image

This is probably another of those MOCs that looks a lot better in person where you can look at it from all sides and see the details, than it does in a few photos online. The overall shape is really cool, and putting it in the middle of a waterfall is neat. I particularly like that wooden gallery that looks out over the waterfall. The main problem is that this is so busy - there's the complex shape, details like those flying buttresses, color details in the roofs, mottling in the walls, color variation in the river and the ground and the rocks, height variations etc. IMO, when building for the camera, the key is to contrast simple and complex. In terms of color, for instance, if you were to have a keep with walls in all one color, surround it with landscaping that is very complex in color scheme. Otoh, if the keep is very intricate in color scheme, basically put it against landscaping that is pretty much all the same shade of green, or gray, or blue, etc, or at most areas that were blocked into solid colors (green grass over here, dark gray cliff over there, blue water below, etc). The same with building style. If the keep is a simple square tower (nothing wrong with that, tons of real historic examples like this), then make the landscape around it intricate. If the castle is very intricate, lots of levels etc, make the land simpler. I'm not saying just put it on flat baseplates, but you want some contrast. When everything is complex, as in your MOC, the details overwhelm and hide each other.
That's a more general note. A couple of additional thoughts on yours. The shape comes across as almost ship-like, which may have been your intention. I might have played that idea up even more. You should have moved the light source for your second photo, as the shadow kinds of hides it. Your third photo, the one of the interior, really didn't do you any favors. I know you wanted to show that it had some interior, and highlight the light-up firepit, but it's so hard to see what's going on. Either find a better way to light it and a better camera angle so you can actually see the interior detail well, or skip this photo and give us another exterior shot, maybe from a different angle (fig's-eye-view at the gate, or looking up from the base of the waterfall might have been cool).
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by gid617 »

I'd love some critiques on my Ill Advised Journey Through the desert:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gid617/set ... 242326329/

Thanks for taking the time with this thread!
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Post by mpoh98 »

I would love some critique on this creation, my medieval life entry. The pictures don't do it justice though. :/
http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/350176
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