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CCC X MOC critiques thread

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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby Bruce N H » Tue Mar 05, 2013 3:50 am

Soccerkid,

Mitgardian Lighthouse Image

Up front I should note that there are many things in this MOC that are beautifully executed, particularly the different round sections of the tower, the waves, and the rocky cliff. I guess I saw two weaknesses in this entry. First, it feels out of balance. Most of the footprint is the water, with the land portion only occupying about 30% of one side, and then on that land, a very large tower is shoved into the back corner. As the focal point of the MOC, it seems the tower should be more central. Second, particularly with the imbalance you've got between the tower, the land, and the water, it comes across as very empty and dead. If you're going to have the bulk of your footprint set aside for the water, you should have something going on in that area. Maybe some rocks, with waves splashing up on them (which would make sense for a lighthouse to be near such a hazard), or a boat of some sort. Or maybe a boat about to founder on the rocks, with the sailors diving overboard and the lighthouse keeper rushing to their aid. Just having the keeper standing their looking out is kind of dull, IMO.
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby Legonardo » Tue Mar 05, 2013 6:46 am

not sure its been enough time, just going on what feels about right, but could I get feedback on this?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/73083455@N03/sets/72157632083830102/with/8210946598/
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby Peter de Yeule » Wed Mar 06, 2013 3:05 pm

Hi Bruce and Josh. I would like to have some feedback on my trades and tolls entry http://www.flickr.com/photos/57236294@N ... 188471455/

I think I know where I lost points but I want to have your thoughts on it.

Thanks for running this contest and for your feedback.
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby Purple Wolf » Fri Mar 08, 2013 10:14 pm

Hey. I was hopping you could say your oppinions on this creation
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http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=519199

Thanks

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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby Bruce N H » Fri Mar 08, 2013 11:39 pm

Legonardo,

Assassination at Sea Image

I always love brick-built hulls, and you did well here, though maybe a little more width and a little less length would have been better in this one. I did really like how you threw the R2-leg and skelly horse in as sea foam. Maybe more odd elements here might have been fun and given you even more interesting texture, like the details in Remi's mosaic featured here recently. I don't like the run of gray brick-bricks going across the deck - it makes it look like the ship is built partly of stone. I don't know a lot about ships, but it seems that there should be more rigging. The deck seems oddly empty - it seems that a ship like this wouldn't have a lot of wasted space like this does. On presentation, I would have done one photo up close from the perspective of a fig on the deck.


Peter de Yeule,

Ak-Bahl Ar Market Image

Some nice bits in there for sure, like the window details with those PoP arches. My favorite detail from the street fair is the grill on the right-hand side. I appreciated the way you actually set those tiles on the ground into the base, rather than just sitting on top of a baseplate. That said, I wasn't a huge fan of the color variation from those tiles. It kind of muddies up the image with the variety of figs on top of them. I did feel that the whole thing came off a little flat - probably appropriate for a town square, but a little boring to look at. One suggestion would be to have the square more surrounded - maybe buildings on two sides and a wall along another. That might make it seem more like a street fair in the middle of a busy city.


Purple Wolf,

Alix in Duploland Image

I appreciate that you really embraced the 'use of Duplo' challenge, but I think in going almost all Duplo you end up with something that looks, well, childish. I did like the design of the bottle, but am still not clear what the gray thing is.
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby soccerkid6 » Sat Mar 09, 2013 12:51 am

Would love to hear your thoughts on my daring escape entry: http://legocreator57.tk/CCCX-In-Out-and-Back-In-Again.php
Your feedback has been very helpful, before this I hadn't really given much thought to the layout of a MOC :)
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby jediknight219 » Sat Mar 09, 2013 1:27 am

My entry was pulled from a bigger project of mine, which is still ongoing, so I would like to know what I can do to improve it.

Original entry:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jediknight ... 399156194/


With some improvements:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jediknight219/8541045630/
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby gid617 » Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:35 pm

I'd love some critique on this one, one of my Medieval Life entries:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gid617/set ... 367077968/
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby mrcp6d » Tue Mar 12, 2013 1:02 am

Bruce, Josh, can I get some feedback on this one?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrcp6d/sets/72157632092324928/
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Edit: Also, do we have winners of the challenges? Particularly interested in the "use of Duplo" one referenced above.
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby Bruce N H » Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:05 am

Gid617,

Guildhall feast
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The room itself, the table and the figs are fairly standard - the highlights IMO are the chimney and the stained glass window. Very cool use of a shield as a food tray, btw. I'm a little confused as to the architecture - from the chimney, I'm assuming that this is a one-story building and that the chimney goes up through the not-shown ceiling. However, those two guys at the top look like they're on a balcony running around the interior of a two-story room - I think you need to think about the structure of this room, including the not-shown parts. If it were a large hall with sort of a cathedral ceiling, as might be appropriate for a guild-hall, that chimney makes no sense, as it just moves the smoke up a bit, but it would presumably still fill the room with smoke. You obviously know that the lack of two more trans-green cheese slopes makes the window look odd. It's a great pattern, and really deserves to be completed with the right pieces. If you can't get a hold of those (though, with a two month window you should have been able to), you perhaps should have considered a different pattern.

Jediknight219,

Curved staircase Image

First up, this was an 'honorable mention' entry, by which you can infer it scored very well with the judges. You already know the one minor quibble with this MOC, since you fixed the gaps both at the top and the bottom in your improved version (though I think you got a better curve in the original - the newer version doesn't curve as smoothly). I suppose I would have been tempted to add a fig walking up the staircase just to give some 'action', but the focus of the category was supposed to be the architecture, so that would have been superfluous to the judging. One suggestion would be to make the floor a different color, which would help highlight the curve of the wall.

Soccerkid6,

In-N-Out Image Image Image

This was a really good entry. I liked the first scene particularly, though I've noted above that having a really busy color scheme and a really busy texture at the same time get messy - perhaps if this had been largely in light bley it might have been better. OTOH, you've got fairly simple things on top of that, so it doesn't get too obscured. I did think the cell seemed over-large. I'd think a cell would be quite small, and this looked larger than some apartments I've lived in. Very nice fig posing in the tunnel scene, and I appreciate that the glimpse of the jail on the left definitely evokes the walls in the first pic. My only complaint here is the very thin layer of 'roof' along the top of the tunnel. The old man is going to collapse through to the tunnel below if he so much as sneezes. In the 'recapture' scene I very much like the home of the wealthy merchant - not so much the smaller house to the right. In particular I thought the checkerboard pattern of light and dark bley on the stone part looked odd. One question I had was it seemed that the merchant's house was built with the door not going onto the street, but onto this narrow passage a few feet from the next building over. On second look, though, I suppose it would be fair to say that we're only seeing a small part of the merchant's house, and this might be a side-door for the help or something. On all of the buildings I did think the eaves came across as very heavy and too fat.

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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby gid617 » Tue Mar 12, 2013 11:45 am

Thanks Bruce, yes, the fact that I put a balcony up there does make the chimney a bit short, but I felt like it would be ridiculous to run it up another story (plus I was running out of bricks. Minor details...). As far as the window pattern, I really am not sure what else I could have done, my trans-cheese is extremely limited, and as far as getting more off say Bricklink that can be a very lengthy process (due to where I live). Thanks for the critiques though!
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby mpoh98 » Wed Mar 13, 2013 11:50 pm

Could I get some feedback in this please: http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/347030, thanks!
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby soccerkid6 » Thu Mar 14, 2013 12:13 am

Thanks again, yes the bigger building is only a third of the house, I pictured it as a mansion with a small servants quarters next to it (so you were right about the door being a servants entrance).
Some criticism on my architecture detail entry: http://www.legocreator57.tk/Gothic-Cathedral.php would be appreciated

I'm really looking forward to this year's CCC after all these tips :)
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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby friskywhiskers » Thu Mar 14, 2013 2:29 am

Well it's been 2 weeks, so can I Please get some feedback for my entry to the MISC, Category? Thanks!

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Re: CCC X MOC critiques thread

Postby Bruce N H » Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:31 pm

Mrcp6d,

Ice Dragon Attack Image

I really like the way you made the snow with the curved slopes, and the way it spilled over the edges to give a natural-looking uneven shape to the base on the dragon-end of the scene. On the non-dragon end the base was more rectangular and non-natural looking, and would have benefited from some of this snow effect. Great posing on the figs. I like the dragon's head a lot, but not so much the body. He's more of a winged snake. I think if you bulked up his body more it would help a lot.


Soccerkid6,

Gothic cathedral Image

There are some really wonderful parts to this. I particularly like the detailing on the piers. One issue I saw with this is that it feels a little short and thick. The development of the gothic arch and the flying buttress allowed the construction of these cathedrals that feel light and airy and direct the eyes upward to God. I think that if you had made this about 20%-30% taller it would have really helped. Also that would have stretched out the bottom window, which would have given that tall narrow shape you associate with these cathedrals. On the lower window, it would have helped if you'd used a combination of different slopes to give a gothic arch shape (e.g. see this WIP by Tony). On the pinnacles, I really like the detailing with the cheese slopes, but the point of the pinnacle is to act as an additional weight pressing down the pier to hold against the outward force of the flying buttress, so they should be much taller. That also would help with the verticality.

Friskywhiskers,

Commerce guild Image

I thought this was really nice, and so I don't have any real notes to add. It's tough to stand out in the Misc category, I almost would have put this in the Trade and Tolls category if I were you. I liked the wooden rafters, particularly, and the wood detail along the wall. One minor error I saw was that the gray slopes along the top of the back right really should have been black, as this was a cutaway of the roofline rather than the wall. Perhaps it would have been nice if you'd had a little bit of the black roof on the right side, maybe stretched out as far as the first rafter, with the rest cut out so you can see the figs below. Another very minor suggestion would be that I'd think they'd put some sort of banner or something in the upper triangle of the back wall - maybe that one from the Helm's Deep set or something.

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