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LCC-Hero's Guild-A1-Going on an Adventure

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 5:52 pm
by Justin M
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The day has arrived, my dear family; it is time I leave this humble home. I’m leaving now, I and do not know when I am coming back. I’m going on an adventure.
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"Goodbye my dear family", I said.
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“Take care of your mother”, I shouted back to my son. “Always believe I'll be coming home!"

Re: LCC-Hero's Guild-A1-Going on an Adventure

Posted: Thu May 02, 2013 3:26 am
by mencot
Ah a beuitful little scene (talking about the moc :tasty: :P ) the feeling is a bit sad but a mans gotta do what a man gotta do, right :P
Great work, looking forward to the continuing 8)

Re: LCC-Hero's Guild-A1-Going on an Adventure

Posted: Thu May 02, 2013 2:22 pm
by Justin M
@ mencot
Thank you! :D

Re: LCC-Hero's Guild-A1-Going on an Adventure

Posted: Thu May 02, 2013 7:36 pm
by soccerkid6
Excellent build, you've really improved as a builder. The tree is great and I like the little pond. Very nice grass effect with the staggered plates, and the little wall is a neat detail. Seems a little odd that the house is stone with wood corner beams though :)

Re: LCC-Hero's Guild-A1-Going on an Adventure

Posted: Thu May 02, 2013 10:06 pm
by AK_Brickster
As the story is now, your hero seems like kind of a jerk for just abandoning his family in order to go on an unnamed adventure. The way he says, "It's time to leave this humble home" makes it sound like he's just bored of his life and family and would rather go off in search of more exciting exploits than to bother staying home to take care of his wife and young child.
Not only that, but he has left them with seemingly no means of survival. They haven't been left in the care of any extended family, and he's even taking the family horse (which is well-adorned - it would seem that he's spent the family's savings on shiny trappings and armor and left them to starve to death!)

Perhaps it would be a bit better if he was leaving under the premise of being called to war or in response to some other impending threat. That would seem more noble. He could leave a bit more humbly and be assigned armor and a horse once he rendezvoused with the rest of the army or something like that.

Just my two cents worth regarding the story. The MOC itself is actually quite good!

Re: LCC-Hero's Guild-A1-Going on an Adventure

Posted: Sat May 04, 2013 4:24 pm
by Justin M
@ soccerkid6
Thanks buddy! :)

@ AK_Brickster
I kind of agree with you on this one. I guess you could say I've never been the best at writing stories so many times they could use improvement. I'd be happy to re-write it if you'd like. :)

Re: LCC-Hero's Guild-A1-Going on an Adventure

Posted: Sun May 05, 2013 3:54 pm
by AK_Brickster
Don't re-write it for me! If you like it, then by all means keep it! :)

I was just giving some constructive feedback. At the end of the day, it's about what you like and what story you want to tell. :)