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Beginning of a story

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Beginning of a story

Postby richardanthonyc » Sun Dec 22, 2013 11:34 am

FIrst character plot I have written in over a year... let me know what you think :)

Jandek was a thief, and a damned good one too. He wasn't your average, petty crook – he was a high end obtainer of personal artefacts. The upper class played their games and paid their coin to men like Jandek and he helped them score points or retaliate over petty grudges by stealing objects that were of personal wealth to individuals. He was paid handsomely for it too, as you would suspect for a man who risk his life on many an occasion versus palatial guards. Life in the city was a carousel of intrigue and strife for the rich and men like Jandek played a pivotal role in their absurd games. To Jandek the men of wealth and power were sinister and sick. They did not value life and they most certainly did not value Ghalayan scum like him. But they hired him and his ilk and that was better than being just another street thief or a gang member in the ruts of Oldtown.


The depths of their gall used to shock him, but not any more. A few years of being one of their favourites and soon all traces of a conscience fade. He would steal an item and once he delivered the requested goods, the buyer would wear the object visibly at a public function, taunting their opponent in a field were no blood could be spilled or at least not immediately. It was also a twisted personal in joke between houses to sometimes bestow the object as a gift onto a visitor or a newcomer who would then unwittingly become the enemy of their own enemy. Many an innocent life had been lost in retaliation. That didn't matter to Jandek though; there was no blood on his hands. He was no guiltier than a blacksmith or a fletcher in his eyes.

Other glorified thieves like Jandek had to slave for a living for several lower families on petty missions but not so him. He had risen quickly from the pit of the scum and had been in the sole employ of Lord Casimir De Ramduk for several years now. Lord Casimir was part of the Order of Ancient Eralgorians, claiming descent from the founding fathers of the kingdom and lived on the hill of the Palentines. He was possibly the most powerful man in Southern Eralgor, though not even half as powerful as the lords and rulers of the capital. Jandek had performed hundreds of missions for him and his family, from the simplest of thefts to the most complex humiliations of opponents. He was the master of the Dance ball, the smiling rascal of the street and the grim face of a palatial guard all rolled into one.

Sometimes though, he almost wished he had not risen so quickly to the position he was in. All the other thieves viewed him as some sort of privileged fraud who had never known the pain of the cold winter or the ache of a starving belly. He had grown up as the son of a migrant family from Rapuir, his father being a fletcher and his mother a seamstress, and he had seen a childhood of mild struggle for several years. That had all changed when his father had been imprisoned for supplying rebels with weapons. His mother disappeared not long after and he was left an orphan where he had to beg and steal. Fortunately for Jandek, he has an inane talent for theft. He quickly found that he could alter his appearance quite effectively through force of will and that his reactions were always faster and his senses more keen than others around him. That was why Casimir had chosen him.

Jandek had never questioned his shape shifting ability growing up, he could change his facial features quite easily now but still struggled to change the shape of his body. It mattered not though he was neither overly tall nor too short – he was of average height with an athletic build and that suited him just fine. He could easily meld into crowds and slip out of alleyways unnoticed. His bearing was not overly intimidating or very feeble, he was an underestimated weapon that had ended the lives of many enemies who did not understand what to expect from his distinctly average appearance.
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Re: Beginning of a story

Postby Sir Erathor » Mon Dec 23, 2013 7:16 am

That's great! I look forward to any more you might post!
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Re: Beginning of a story

Postby Aeridian » Mon Dec 23, 2013 9:31 pm

I really like the description of his skillful craft and the cloak and dagger-type lifestyle. I'm definitely looking forward to more characters and stories in this world or yours. Brilliant work so far!
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Re: Beginning of a story

Postby richardanthonyc » Tue Dec 24, 2013 12:49 pm

Thanks for the replies guys :) It is great to finally just have the desire to write again, who knows one day I might have a full story :lol:
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Re: Beginning of a story

Postby mpoh98 » Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:34 pm

Very nice job, I agree with Aeridian, the whole description of the cloak and dagger-type lifestyle is great! Looking forward to more!
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