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The Watch Tower Knight

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 7:49 pm
by Blue Head
Since the story is still in construction there is only text, but who cares. The story is about a young servant whos town is attacked by an unknown force. The rest is for you to read...

http://www.freewebs.com/sirknight1/

note: I've only finished ch 1 so far, I will post updates. If you have any comment or if you have something against the story post here. Also there is a forum on the nav bar, so plz join.

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 8:29 pm
by Spongey
I really like this story. You do a good job describing the young boy's attitude towards the world. I can't wait to read the rest.

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 10:43 pm
by Blue Head
The second chapter is done, and can be found on the site under nothing else but the second chapter on my freeweb. Take a look!

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 1:55 am
by Prince Imdol
It looks like you have a good start. I do suggest making a charecter page, because your story is a bit confusing, and also I suggest maybe making the sentences a bit longer and more detailed writing wise. \
Although in seens, keep them short and sweet.


P.I

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 2:59 am
by Blue Head
I'll take your advise and make the character page. Hope it helps, more will be added onto it as I make more of the story.

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 6:49 am
by Maedhros
Blue Head wrote:I'll take your advise and make the character page. Hope it helps, more will be added onto it as I make more of the story.
Hmm... if you want my view I advice you to not do a character page.

I think it's much nicer to get to know the characters as you read the story, and that way you skip the possible spoilers of a character page too...

..and, what usual novel has a character page in the beginning anyway? ;)

I´ll comment on the story later...

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 3:26 pm
by Blue Head
good point, I'll wait to make my decision after some more people reply. :D

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 1:50 am
by Prince Imdol
I mean just a charecter page with the peoples names, ranks, where they live, but no giving away stuff.


Thomas C.

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:34 pm
by Blue Head
well... ill see, as for now i have to compliet the story...

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:43 pm
by Maedhros
Prince Imdol wrote:I mean just a charecter page with the peoples names, ranks, where they live, but no giving away stuff.


Thomas C.
Well, I for one still think having that page there is "giving away stuff" but that´s just me...

Including a little list at the end for reference might be an idea though. (But you don´t need to worry about that before you get there I guess ;))

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 11:33 pm
by Blue Head
Okay, ill think about it okay, any way... the third chapter is done, kinda short, but done non-the-less! This is where it starts to stray away from real medeivil and into a little bit of fantacy.

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:09 am
by Prince Imdol
Mahedros and I are at war. (Just kidding)

P.I

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 2:52 pm
by Maedhros
Prince Imdol wrote:Mahedros and I are at war. (Just kidding)

P.I
Oh, well, I´m a pacifist but I guess I could go to war against you for spelling my name wrong ;)

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:18 pm
by Prince Imdol
Lol, sorry about that.

P.I