A Place to Call Home

[Maedhros]

Time for Maedhros to show what he did all summer, no?

Clickety click! (or face my wrath )

Now a few words caution. This might include some minor plastic maturity. It will also include some plastic violence. I am not the one who sets a PG but I know that some people can be quite sensitive so there's a warning.

Also, this deals in conflicts involving both religion and ethnicity. Do keep in mind that this is a story and has nothing to do with my own views or beliefs. What a protagonist might think of a certain belief or people has nothing to do with my opinion of the matter.

That said, I hope you will enjoy the story, and let me know what you think!

[Sir Kohran]

Well despite being a thrice-damned Saxon myself, I certainly enjoyed it

Your use of dark, shadowy, claustrophobic imagery (which, by now, has sort of become your trademark style) looks very good here, it lends a very grim atmosphere to the story. I like how you hint at what's going on in the photos by shrouding some of the things in the dark.

There's clearly a lot happening in the story; I'll reread it sometime and hope for updates soon. I wouldn't worry about religion/ethnicity issues as long as you stay with fiction.

I had to laugh at the irony of those guards using crown knight torsos and carrying skeleton shields at the same time

- Matt

[Prince Imdol]

It is a very good story. In the most recent chapter, I must say..... its quite a scene. I though it was very good, and full of a lot of good stuff.

The writing style was a lot like the Odyssey... sort of.



P.I

[Maedhros]

Thanks guys, I am glad you liked it!

Also to clarify a bit, this was meant as a short story, so I haven't planned anymore....... yet

The writing style was a lot like the Odyssey... sort of.

While I don't see the similarity myself I guess that could be taken as about the highest praise that there is so thanks Maybe a poetic version is in order

[Tower of Iron Will]

Time for Maedhros to show what he did all summer, no?

Clickety click! (or face my wrath )

Now a few words caution. This might include some minor plastic maturity. It will also include some plastic violence. I am not the one who sets a PG but I know that some people can be quite sensitive so there's a warning.

Also, this deals in conflicts involving both religion and ethnicity. Do keep in mind that this is a story and has nothing to do with my own views or beliefs. What a protagonist might think of a certain belief or people has nothing to do with my opinion of the matter.

That said, I hope you will enjoy the story, and let me know what you think!

In my own humble opinion...
When I first started reading this story I was liking it. It brings you into the heroine's feelings quickly and sets the stage for following material. But when the heroine meets her father it gets a little hard to follow. Some of what happens to her doesn't make sense.

I would be carefull of some of the more "adult" themes in this story. I personally don't object to reading such material and gives the antagonists some depth to their character but would not be appropriate for some of the younger audience here. If I had to rate it using the "movie" rating scale I think it would lean towards an "R" for strong s*xual content and graphic violence.

As far as the religious element you can make a disclamer about the views of the character but people will still judge the story differently if it singles out one or more groups and portrays them in a negative light. Each religion has their examples thoughout history of good and bad behavior but some of the audience may not want to be reminded of it.

Just some thoughts, take them for what they're worth. You have a good start here.
-Tower