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Miora- First Part

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Miora- First Part

Postby Blue Head » Fri May 09, 2008 1:52 am

This is the history of Miora, land of the elves. There is more, but I thought I'd give it in pieces. Unfortunatly for you, the first piece is the largest... the actual history. :wink:
_________________________________
Back, before the age of evil, there was peace in the world of Miora, a land untouched by the hands of humankind, nor minions of rebellion. The land held in it’s hands the elves; who’s peace remained unconditional, and who’s trust could never be broken, and the dwarves, who’s skill in metal work and mining was beyond that of any other elf or immortal. The land, at the time, was ruled by Theos, the elf king, who was , not only strong in magic and power, but was also believed to be the first being that lived in the land.
His Minister of Music, Corenth, sang him great songs of worship in the lands of Teleios, for that was it’s name then. His songs sang of great deeds to come from the palms of Theos, and the works he had already completed and their wonder. But Corenth became envious of great works of Theos, and began to plot in his head how to destroy him.
While Corenth planned, though, Theos created something new to the eyes of the elves. Humans were found in the west, in lands set aside by Theos for reasons he told no one, not even his own son, Mazevo, who was the great in the eye of Theos. Tragoudi saw these events take place, which stopped his plot to destroy Theos. He began his planning anew, and worked the fickle human heart into the plot.
The humans were allowed, by Theos, to set up a city to live in, which they named Alitheia. They named the total land given to them on the western side Dysi. They built great monuments to Theos, whom they worshipped daily for their creation. In return, Theos granted the humans immortality. Soon, though, the hand of Corenth found it’s way into the land of Alitheia, and twisted the hearts of it’s leaders.
Corenth began to raise an army to begin war; secretly at first, and then publicly to all the nations of Teleios. The Dwarves stood at the side of the peaceful elves, and fought side by side with their friends. The goblins sent by Corenth attacked from the south, forcing the elves and dwarves north, into the Asimi mountains where the dwarves dwelt.
Humanity, at the time, held no army, or knowledge of war and death, but they were neither attacked by the goblins, nor touched by any visible evil hand. Corenth had already began to twist them before the war into believing Theos was going to turn on them, and leave them for dead. Humanity split apart; those who were loyal to Theos began to bicker with those loyal to Corenth, and as always happens, bickering became fighting, fighting became hatred, and hatred became war. Those loyal to Theos were outnumbered in the war, and were easily overrun.
Corenth then built a new army, bent, now, on the destruction of man. He pulled from the soils of Teleios new beings. Trolls, ogres, and banshees pushed down on Dysi, and almost crushed it. As women and children fled to Agkelos (the home of the elves) the men mounted one last defense against Corenth’s great hoards. In the city of Alitheia, humanity made it’s stand, and almost won the battle, if not for Corenth’s appearance during the climax of the fight. His strength overcame every man, every warrior, and every hero that came in his way. Soon, he was in the keep, fighting the last resistance in his way. The Queen of Humanity, who’s rule was given by Theos, was captured by Tragoudi’s banshees, and the banshee’s chained themselves to her, and sucked from her life and joy.
The remaining humans appeared at the feet of Theos, who cursed them with a short life for joining the enemy’s plot in his demise. He cast them away from the lands of the elves, and dwarves, toward the eastern coast. There, the humans build a new country, which they called Aima, and a new city, which they called Alitheia, in honor of the city now destroyed. Dysi was taken by Corenth, and renamed Kolasi. The lands there soon began to fill with water, and become swamps.
There evil stayed hidden for a thousand years, until the regained forces marched out of the gates of Filanthropia to wander the lands surrounding the elves, dwarves, and humans. With the newly claimed lands, Corenth waged war on every faction, making unrest once again in Teleios.
Soon, memories of Corenth slipped away in Aima, and evil was something only read in books, or told in stories. Kolasi, the lands of evil, soon were only mentioned to naughty children, who didn’t do as their mother’s told. Corenth was not defeated, however, and sent evil beings into the human land to turn them to his banner. He knew, the ones who held the humans as allies would gain victory, even in mortality, for they outnumbered all inhabitants of Miora. With them, he could burn the green trees of the elves, and capture the mountains held by the dwarves.
With a new plan set in motion, Corenth had only to wait for the calling of Aima for aid from Kolasi, and the Second War would begin. But his plan was, once again, thwarted.
A group of humans banded together in secret, with the knowledge of the plan of Corenth, and planned to fight back. Claiming lands on the eastern side of Aima, they began to build an army, out of the reach of Kolasi. Aimians persecuted the rebellion, and called them dwarf friends, something seen as an act of evil in Aima. The rebellion was attacked by Aima in a series of battles called the Rebel War, ending in the total destruction of Aima’s side of the border next to the rebellion. The rebels had won. Aima soon ended it’s campaign on the lands of the rebels, and let them be.
With a rebellion in place, it was harder for Corenth to defeat Aima, for the rebellion was vigilantly stopping all of his spies. None-the-less, spies weaved their way through rebellion scouts, and entered the great city of Alitheia.

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Postby King of the West » Sat May 10, 2008 12:20 am

Pretty good.
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Postby Lego Knight » Mon May 12, 2008 6:23 pm

That was really good, I like how the humans lost the trust of the Elves. It seems whenever I read something involving humans and Elves the humans are never fighting the elves.
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Postby Prince Imdol » Tue May 13, 2008 1:04 am

Good for the most part, but your weakness is the names. I think you are making the names too hard to pronounce or unnecessarily complicated.

Names I found unnecessarily complicated:
Agkelos
Aima
Teleios
Tragoudi
Filanthropia

I know that seems like a lot, but you don't need to make complicated names to make them seem interesting.
For instance:
In Lord of the Rings, Tolkien uses the name Gondor.
Has a nice ring to it, its not complicated at all, but you could say it for hours, and you'd never get board with it.

Here is one I like in my story:
Breylen (Bray-len)

Also, as a LOTR fan, I had to point out the similarities in the names Moria and Miora. I figured someone would say it sooner or later.


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Postby Formendacil » Tue May 13, 2008 4:45 am

Prince Imdol wrote:Good for the most part, but your weakness is the names. I think you are making the names too hard to pronounce or unnecessarily complicated.

Names I found unnecessarily complicated:
Agkelos
Aima
Teleios
Tragoudi
Filanthropia

I know that seems like a lot, but you don't need to make complicated names to make them seem interesting.
For instance:
In Lord of the Rings, Tolkien uses the name Gondor.
Has a nice ring to it, its not complicated at all, but you could say it for hours, and you'd never get board with it.

Here is one I like in my story:
Breylen (Bray-len)

Also, as a LOTR fan, I had to point out the similarities in the names Moria and Miora. I figured someone would say it sooner or later.


P.I


By the same tolkien, however (get it? REALLLY bad pun :P ), he also has names like "Khazad-dûm", "Alqualondë", and "Caradhras" (do you KNOW how long it took me to get my tongue around the idea of the "dh" combination?)

My point is basically that long names aren't necessarily a bad thing. In the case of the names Blue Head is using, I'm detecting a very strong Greek influence--a lot of familiar-sounding and looking combinations up there. This is a good thing, in my opinion, since it means there will be a strong, consistent linguistic sound to the culture, which improves the plausibility of the culture, rather than just being a random jumble of vowels.

Of course, this is a little disconcerting for the American reader who knows nothing but English and Klingon, but while the author should definitely consider this issue before naming things, an element of reason definitely needs to be considered. In the real world, things are not necessarily named in short, easy-to-pronounce combos. "Washington D.C." looks like an easy combo to our eyes, but that's five syllables in an odd combination if you were an alien. And if you think that's bad, try "Massachusetts" (which I needed spellcheck to get right...).

So... yes... it is an issue. But, as an opinionated writer in my own respect, I defend the rights of the author to use big names as both realistic and texturing the story. If the culture you want is gruff and to the point, then a whole slough of short, terse names would make a good artistic underscore for that point...

Anyway, I think that's enough rambling on my part for one post.
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Postby Prince Imdol » Tue May 13, 2008 11:38 am

Formendacil wrote:
By the same tolkien, however (get it? REALLLY bad pun :P ), he also has names like "Khazad-dûm", "Alqualondë", and "Caradhras" (do you KNOW how long it took me to get my tongue around the idea of the "dh" combination?)

My point is basically that long names aren't necessarily a bad thing. In the case of the names Blue Head is using, I'm detecting a very strong Greek influence--a lot of familiar-sounding and looking combinations up there. This is a good thing, in my opinion, since it means there will be a strong, consistent linguistic sound to the culture, which improves the plausibility of the culture, rather than just being a random jumble of vowels.

Of course, this is a little disconcerting for the American reader who knows nothing but English and Klingon, but while the author should definitelyconsider this issue before naming things, an element of reason definitely needs to be considered. In the real world, things are not necessarily named in short, easy-to-pronounce combos. "Washington D.C." looks like an easy combo to our eyes, but that's five syllables in an odd combination if you were an alien. And if you think that's bad, try "Massachusetts" (which I needed spellcheck to get right...).

So... yes... it is an issue. But, as an opinionated writer in my own respect, I defend the rights of the author to use big names as both realistic and texturing the story. If the culture you want is gruff and to the point, then a whole slough of short, terse names would make a good artistic underscore for that point...

Anyway, I think that's enough rambling on my part for one post.


I feel as though our staff member has just said what I wanted to say. He got his point across. You can make long words, just don't make them impossible to pronounce and unnecessarily complicated.

On Tolkien names, well yes, those along with Osgiliath ARE hard to pronounce, but you rarely see them.

Khazad-dûm doesn't strike me as impossible. In common languages, you see Kh a lot.

I guess what I am trying to say, is make long names interesting, but if they have to be as complicated as some Tolkien names, then don't make them appear too often. You will scare your reader away. heh.

Formendacil, please, save yourself and others, and
dont go into the pun business. It was clever, but pretty bad.


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Postby wobnam » Tue May 13, 2008 2:46 pm

For what it's worth, I don't think the names are complicated at all.
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Postby Maedhros » Tue May 13, 2008 3:25 pm

wobnam wrote:For what it's worth, I don't think the names are complicated at all.


Agreed, I'm a lot more frightened by most English words.

I mean, just look at queue... ;)
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Postby Luís » Tue May 13, 2008 4:02 pm

The names are fine.
Maedhros wrote:
wobnam wrote:For what it's worth, I don't think the names are complicated at all.


Agreed, I'm a lot more frightened by most English words.

I mean, just look at queue... ;)

You think that's scary? Try our language. Can you pronounce obsequioso(though I am aware english has a bunch of other tricky words).
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Postby Formendacil » Tue May 13, 2008 8:20 pm

Luís wrote:You think that's scary? Try our language. Can you pronounce obsequioso(though I am aware english has a bunch of other tricky words).


You bet it does. "Obsequious" being one of them. :wink:

Maedhros wrote:Agreed, I'm a lot more frightened by most English words.

I mean, just look at queue... :Wink:


Which makes me wonder if half the problem with big words, for English speakers anyway, is the fact that we don't know how to pronounce them. The rules in English are so elastic that we have to really navigate carefully to get them right sometimes (which really isn't fair to people LEARNING English). As a result, we may get a little scared looking at thing like big Latin words. But really, they're a whole lot easier once you know that they actually pronounce they way they're spelt.
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Postby Luís » Tue May 13, 2008 8:56 pm

Formendacil wrote:As a result, we may get a little scared looking at thing like big Latin words. But really, they're a whole lot easier once you know that they actually pronounce they way they're spelt.


And what they mean. Can you belive I told a cousin of mine the word Obelisk (obelisco, in our language) and he thought it was a videogame character. And that's just plain portuguese.
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Postby Formendacil » Wed May 14, 2008 1:41 am

Luís wrote:
Formendacil wrote:As a result, we may get a little scared looking at thing like big Latin words. But really, they're a whole lot easier once you know that they actually pronounce they way they're spelt.


And what they mean. Can you belive I told a cousin of mine the word Obelisk (obelisco, in our language) and he thought it was a videogame character. And that's just plain portuguese.


Well, as far as that goes, I have younger siblings who would recognise "Obelix" from the Asterix comic books before they would know what an "obelisk" was, so that may be a more universal phenomenon.
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Postby Voran_the_Scholar » Wed May 14, 2008 7:47 pm

I feel a little bad about posting in this thread without reading the story first (I promise I will!!!!), but I had to interject here.

First of all Formendacil, I see your puns all over the place, and they always make me laugh.

Second, I love long, complicated names. However, I think the author should really think through his lexicon and decide himself how the names are actually pronounced. And then maybe sharing how they are pronounced would help some people.

Third, I think English is the most complicated (spoken) language in the universe. Look at all the different words we have that mean exactly the same thing:

Quick, fast, speedy, rapid, hasty, swift, fleet, etc.

River, creek, stream, brook, etc.

Finally, I think we all need to give Blue Head his thread back and move on-topic. :wink:

Sorry, Blue Head.

God bless.

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Postby Luís » Wed May 14, 2008 8:18 pm

Yes, we should return the thread. Formendacil, I would love to continue talking about the similarities of how "ruined" perhaps, both our countries youth are ruined, but it seems us old guard fans must give space to more recent members. j/k :wink:
Blue, I really like your story. It reminds me of Silmarillion, but then everything these days does. I would definetly like for you to continue posting it. BTW, I should wrap up my comic.
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Postby Blue Head » Fri May 16, 2008 12:39 pm

Voran_the_Scholar wrote:I feel a little bad about posting in this thread without reading the story first (I promise I will!!!!), but I had to interject here.

First of all Formendacil, I see your puns all over the place, and they always make me laugh.

Second, I love long, complicated names. However, I think the author should really think through his lexicon and decide himself how the names are actually pronounced. And then maybe sharing how they are pronounced would help some people.

Third, I think English is the most complicated (spoken) language in the universe. Look at all the different words we have that mean exactly the same thing:

Quick, fast, speedy, rapid, hasty, swift, fleet, etc.

River, creek, stream, brook, etc.

Finally, I think we all need to give Blue Head his thread back and move on-topic. :wink:

Sorry, Blue Head.

God bless.

Tom


Thank you :). That you all, also, for the many comments, and having the time to read a somewhat long part of a story :D. The names have already been brought up here, at home. I did change the name of Tragoudi to Corenth (like the city). The story does have strong symbolism, but it will take a long time of reading it over and over to actually see it, unless you already have.

Second, yes, there is some Greek influence, in both the names, and the story's make up. Each name (excluding Corenth) have a meaning in Greek, which you can easily look up on a Greek translator if you so wish. :wink:

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