Prince Imdol wrote:Good for the most part, but your weakness is the names. I think you are making the names too hard to pronounce or unnecessarily complicated.
Names I found unnecessarily complicated:
I know that seems like a lot, but you don't need to make complicated names to make them seem interesting.
In Lord of the Rings, Tolkien uses the name Gondor.
Has a nice ring to it, its not complicated at all, but you could say it for hours, and you'd never get board with it.
Here is one I like in my story:
Also, as a LOTR fan, I had to point out the similarities in the names Moria and Miora. I figured someone would say it sooner or later.
By the same tolkien, however (get it? REALLLY bad pun ), he also has names like "Khazad-dûm", "Alqualondë", and "Caradhras" (do you KNOW how long it took me to get my tongue around the idea of the "dh" combination?)
My point is basically that long names aren't necessarily a bad thing. In the case of the names Blue Head is using, I'm detecting a very strong Greek influence--a lot of familiar-sounding and looking combinations up there. This is a good thing, in my opinion, since it means there will be a strong, consistent linguistic sound to the culture, which improves the plausibility of the culture, rather than just being a random jumble of vowels.
Of course, this is a little disconcerting for the American reader who knows nothing but English and Klingon, but while the author should definitelyconsider this issue before naming things, an element of reason definitely needs to be considered. In the real world, things are not necessarily named in short, easy-to-pronounce combos. "Washington D.C." looks like an easy combo to our eyes, but that's five syllables in an odd combination if you were an alien. And if you think that's bad, try "Massachusetts" (which I needed spellcheck to get right...).
So... yes... it is an issue. But, as an opinionated writer in my own respect, I defend the rights of the author to use big names as both realistic and texturing the story. If the culture you want is gruff and to the point, then a whole slough of short, terse names would make a good artistic underscore for that point...
Anyway, I think that's enough rambling on my part for one post.
wobnam wrote:For what it's worth, I don't think the names are complicated at all.
Maedhros wrote:wobnam wrote:For what it's worth, I don't think the names are complicated at all.
Agreed, I'm a lot more frightened by most English words.
I mean, just look at queue...
Luís wrote:You think that's scary? Try our language. Can you pronounce obsequioso(though I am aware english has a bunch of other tricky words).
Maedhros wrote:Agreed, I'm a lot more frightened by most English words.
I mean, just look at queue... :Wink:
Formendacil wrote:As a result, we may get a little scared looking at thing like big Latin words. But really, they're a whole lot easier once you know that they actually pronounce they way they're spelt.
Luís wrote:Formendacil wrote:As a result, we may get a little scared looking at thing like big Latin words. But really, they're a whole lot easier once you know that they actually pronounce they way they're spelt.
And what they mean. Can you belive I told a cousin of mine the word Obelisk (obelisco, in our language) and he thought it was a videogame character. And that's just plain portuguese.
Voran_the_Scholar wrote:I feel a little bad about posting in this thread without reading the story first (I promise I will!!!!), but I had to interject here.
First of all Formendacil, I see your puns all over the place, and they always make me laugh.
Second, I love long, complicated names. However, I think the author should really think through his lexicon and decide himself how the names are actually pronounced. And then maybe sharing how they are pronounced would help some people.
Third, I think English is the most complicated (spoken) language in the universe. Look at all the different words we have that mean exactly the same thing:
Quick, fast, speedy, rapid, hasty, swift, fleet, etc.
River, creek, stream, brook, etc.
Finally, I think we all need to give Blue Head his thread back and move on-topic.
Sorry, Blue Head.
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