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Christmas Game 08

Discussion of Castle Themed stories

Postby Brik Masta » Sun Dec 07, 2008 2:00 pm

Sir Methuselah shot an arrow at the dragon's feet. Thus hitting the dwarf, who had stepped out right in front of Sir Methuselah. Then the dwarf yelled,...
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Postby JoshWedin » Sun Dec 07, 2008 2:26 pm

Brik Masta wrote:Sir Methuselah shot an arrow at the dragon's feet. Thus hitting the dwarf, who had stepped out right in front of Sir Methuselah. Then the dwarf yelled,...


"Yer Fool! You done gone and poked a hole in me canteen! Now where am I supposed to keep me beer!" and then the dwarf...
AFOL and his money are easily parted.

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Postby Elephant Knight » Sun Dec 07, 2008 9:15 pm

Grabbed a near bye axe, swung it with his darvenly might, and headied in the direction of....
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Postby Luís » Thu Dec 11, 2008 12:42 pm

a pile of dungfilled trees...
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Postby Chaotic Good » Thu Dec 11, 2008 7:43 pm

...which Sir Methuselah had cunningly hidden behind, realizing that depriving a dwarf of his beer would not lead to happy sing-songs all round. Leaping through the smelly trees, the dwarf...
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Postby Brik Masta » Thu Dec 11, 2008 8:23 pm

eventually met his end, death by reek. Down below a jester, who lacked a nose, leaped right into a...
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Postby Elephant Knight » Thu Dec 11, 2008 10:06 pm

Dragon's mouth. With a snort the Dragon spits out the dwarf, who lands on...
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Postby Luís » Thu Dec 11, 2008 10:31 pm

Elephant Knight wrote:Dragon's mouth. With a snort the Dragon spits out the dwarf, who lands on...

The smelly trees. Appareantly, the dwarf isn't very well liked by destiny. Twas the that the dragon...
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Postby Foamrider » Fri Dec 12, 2008 3:53 am

Decided that he was not to be meddled with, for people are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. With a great...
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Postby footsteps » Fri Dec 12, 2008 4:14 am

C-C Posters with way too much time on their hands and very active imaginations wrote: wrote:Limping along the road to the realm of the Black Falcons, brave Sir Anthony was all of a sudden struck speechless by fear upon the sight of a contingent of KKII knights trundling up the road in their brightly hued armour.

He had never seen anything so bizzarre, the moonlight reflecting of their rainbow-coloured garments; baby blue, bright red, purple of all colours. In their arms they each carried a chicken drumstick, which they were carrying away as tributes from the Black Falcons, defeated in a war the previous year. Unfortunately, by the time they would reach their land, the drumsticks would be toast. And not the kind that is fresh from the toaster, dripping with butter, and soothing to the palate. Rather, they would be the hard, cold, crumbly kind inexplicably popular with residents of the distant British Isles.

Undaunted by the uselessness of their bounty, these knights sang a merry tune and marched along lightly, until Sir Methuselah the Tipsy stumbled onto the road ahead. On his back, Sir Methuselah the Tipsy carried a backpack full of gems he stole from the Forestmen,but then suddenly the KKII knights noticed Sir Anthony and Sir Methuselah staring at them. So they fled with terror. If one thing was evident from their juniourised armour it was that these guys weren't fully equipped for battle. Stuck between Anthony and Methuselah, they jumped off the road and into the depths of the marsh nearby. Sir Anthony engaged in a bawdy song about female troll shamans.

Sirs Anthony and Methuselah were very happy seeing their friend Sir Doesn'tlikemegablocksalot walking toward them carrying a dreary suit of grey armour, that scared the rainbow knights away, and a dreary brown bow, which scared the birds away.

Then something moved in the undergrowth. It was a big pink cat with a sword on it's back. It's tail, however, was cyan. The sword was secured with a leather halter, and the cat wore jewelled boots on it's hind legs.

"Good ev'ning, fine gentlemen," purred the feline swordmaster. "My name is Inigo Montoya de la Puss'n Boots." With a gentle caress of his whiskers, he continued, "May I be so bold as to ask: how many fingers do you have on your right hand?"

The three knightly friends proclaimed that they each had two per hand. The cat stared questioningly and said, "...huh?"

Then he showed them his movable, jointed fingers. In response Sir Anthony, Sir Methuselah, and the KK2 knights merced the cat and sold his pelt to a wandering salesman who was mugged by a raccoon. The raccoon didn't like the pelt and gave it to his wife for their wedding anniversary, which was a month ago.

The wife, not caring for it, threw it away, and kicked her husband out of the tree, and onto a traveling forestman, who in turn ran hysterically about til he bumped into Sir Methuselah. Then Sir Methuselah, after hearing the Forestman's story, was still a little tipsy, and promptly fell over into a patch of mushrooms.

The forestmen, still in shock and somewhat bewildered turned around to see a green dragon standing behind him, holding a keg of ale. The dragon offered a drink to the Forestmen, one of which promptly fainted on top of Sir Methuselah. The Forestman hesitantly obliged, but but started retching because it was Dwarven ale. The green dragon ate the Forestman for offending his host, then flew away and ate the entire KK2 population for being so hard on the dragon's eyes.

Turning around, the Dragon saw a giant troll trying to fit Jayko's helmet on his head. Unfortunately the colour offended the dragon, and it knocked the helmet off the head of the colour blind troll, who then grabbed the dragon by the tail and swung it 'round and 'round, raucously singing:

"Ring around a rosie
a pocket full of posie
Husha
Husha
we all puke!

As the dragon puked all over the place, brave Sir Anthony couldn't help but puke his guts out himself. Upon sight of this the dragon flew away in terror, because standing behind Sir Anthony was a pink KK2 knight!!!

So Sir Anthony got out the paint and painted himself camouflage so the KKII knight couldn't see him, but a band of Wolfpack jump out of a nearby bush, and seeing the KK2 person they ran away screaming. At which point the pink knight grabbed Sir Anthony by the left big toe and shook the change out of his pockets.

The loud clinging of coins inevitably lured in a Dwarf looking for more beer money, who said "'ello der sweetheart *hic!*" Just as Sir Methuselah shot an arrow at the dragon's feet. Thus hitting the dwarf, who had stepped out right in front of Sir Methuselah.

Then the dwarf yelled "Yer Fool! You done gone and poked a hole in me canteen! Now where am I supposed to keep me beer!" and then the dwarf grabbed a nearby axe, swung it with his darvenly might, and headied in the direction of a pile of dungfilled trees which Sir Methuselah had cunningly hidden behind, realizing that depriving a dwarf of his beer would not lead to happy sing-songs all round. Leaping through the smelly trees, the dwarf eventually met his end, death by reek.

Down below a jester, who lacked a nose, leaped right into a dragon's mouth. With a snort the Dragon spat out the dwarf, who landed on the smelly trees. Appareantly, the dwarf isn't very well liked by destiny. Twas then that the dragon decided that he was not to be meddled with, for people are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

With a great
heaving sigh, the aviatic reptile muttered, "I do so much miss little Jackie Paper." Blinking back tears, the dragon...
I'm a human BEING, not a human doing!
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Postby Elephant Knight » Fri Dec 12, 2008 4:19 am

Decided to round up some ketchup to eat his dwarf. Luckyily, the dwarf ran away, but seeing another dragon, the dwarf, named Bawrd, decided to.....
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Postby Remyth » Fri Dec 12, 2008 4:30 am

Entertain the dragon with a pun of his name. The dragon, completely sedated, fell asleep and...
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Postby Aliencat » Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:12 am

Remyth wrote:Entertain the dragon with a pun of his name. The dragon, completely sedated, fell asleep and...

under the full weight of its body crushed an approaching Crown Knight army, who were on their way to...
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Postby Maedhros » Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:41 am

...the funeral of Lord Basil of the Fright Knights, who passed away from high blood pressure after a particularly intense row with Willa. Why then would the hapless, now squeezed, mauled and crushed Crown Knights have wanted to grace Lord Basil's funeral with their presence? you might ask. However, the answer is quite simple really...

(I get the feeling I've created a monster.... ;))
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Postby Voran_the_Scholar » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:41 pm

That Willa is the Crown Knight Monarch's mother-in-law...and we all know how mothers-in law are. Just before the funeral began...
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