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Noble Order of the Knights of Prasden

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Re: Noble Order of the Knights of Prasden

Postby Napoleon » Tue May 25, 2010 2:53 am

The Search for Answers: Part 6

“What would you ask of us, Your Lordship?” John asked, trying to be polite.

Basil brushed through his jet-black hair as he looked at John and the other travelers, “Yes...I think you could do it. Let me explain: For over two years now, my Wilderness villages have been attacked by a villainous group scoundrels who call themselves the 'Rogue Knights.' Do not believe that they ARE knights! No, they are mockeries of knights. They are criminal scum, worthy of death. They make a lifestyle out of looting, burning, and killing. Now, I know what you are thinking: 'Why doesn't he just use his army to destroy them?' Well, the problem with that is that they know the Western Wilderness like the back of their hands. Every time I send in my legions, the cutthroats go into hiding. If you can kill their leaders or capture them, I will give you the equipment to kill the monster. Do you accept”

After John and the others consulted with each other, John gave Basil his answer, “We will accept, but how do we find the Rogues? We do not have a clue as to how to find a gang in the Western Wilderness.”

Basil motioned for Cornelius to stand next to him, “I shall send with you Cornelius Davius, one of my centurions. He is very familiar with the Wilderness because he lived there before joining my army. Rogue Knights killed his family and he has always yearned to avenge them. Well, this is his chance and I am sure he will not turn it down. Eh, Davius?”

Jawohl, mein Lord! This will be my chance. I fully accept,” Cornelius said strongly and loudly with a fire in his eyes.

Chapter 3
First Encounter: Part 1

Two weeks later...

John and his companions finally reached the frontier. It was cold, harsh, and gigantic. Towns were sparse and cities were non-existant.

Cornelius Davius had proved himself time and time again by finding food and keeping everyone from dying. He himself ate very little; he seemed to feed on his hatred of the Rogues. One thing that bothered John deeply was the fact that Cornelius had an anger-management problem: one thing could set him off. Once, Patrick accidentally bumped into Cornelius, making both spill their plates of gruel. Cornelius flew into a rage and Steven had to intervene to keep him from hurting Patrick. John would have to watch Davius closely, for Davius's violence might come to an ugly climax. He might even leave John and the others to die if it worked to his advantage.

If you do not get the names of the two Rogue leaders, just ask and I will tell you the joke. :lol:

First Encounter: Part 2

The Rogues' horses galloped down the ancient, well-worn paths of the forest at top-speed. It was three in the afternoon and the Rogues were not going to waste daylight. They were coming to a town called Basilgrad, a town they “visited” every month to “stock up” on supplies. The populace pratically worshipped the Rogues. Not because they liked or respected them, but because the Rogues would torch their homes if they opposed them.

The leader, Sir Cassidy, was riding in front of the Rogue riders. He put his mail-gloved hand in the air and the caravan of miscreants stopped. Cassidy dismounted and took his worn-out spyglass off of one of his saddle compartments and climbed on top of a huge rock which offered a clear view of the city in the valley below. He looked through his spyglass studied the town carefully. After studying it for a good two minutes, he called for his second-in-command, Sir Kidde, “Hey, Kidde, take a look. Don't look like there are any soldiers, huh?”

Kidde took the glass and casually looked the town over, “Nah, I don't see any. I'm getting hungry, Cassidy. What do you think the villagers have cooking?” he asked while scratching a mosquito bite on his arm.

“I don't know. Maybe, they'll have some venison or some chicken,” Cassidy replied, equally hungry, “Dang!” he cried while swatting a mosquito away from his bearded face, “These bugs are sure thick. I want to get indoors. Come on, Kidde, let's get going,” Cassidy and Kidde mounted back up and the fifty Rogue horsemen thundered down the valley and into the town.

“When the villagers heard the sounds of the approaching Rogues, they quickly hid as many of their belongings as possible.

“Greetings, my fine people!” yelled Cassidy as he entered the town, ”We need food, drink, and rest, and I am sure you are happy to oblige!”

“Yes!” chimed Kidde, “We sure do love your hospitality!” he yelled as he and the others dismounted and tied up their horses. After that, all fifty Rogues sat down where they pleased, including the villagers homes. The peasants did not resist and brought out food and drink.
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Re: Noble Order of the Knights of Prasden

Postby Napoleon » Wed Jun 16, 2010 12:05 am

Finally, I've started the story up again. :)

First Encounter: Part 3

John and his companions galloped along a well-trodden road. In the past century, the road was used to haul supplies to the Fright Knight army battling the Bloxfordians. Now, it was pretty much unused.

"This is strange," said Steven, "These appear to be fresh hoof prints," he dismounted and inspected the prints, "And a lot of them at that. Whoever they are, they're heading toward the town. We better hurry, because they might be Rogues. They're known to raid towns around here."

"All right, let's go," said John.

Just then, three mounted men came dashing out of the woods on the right. The riders glanced angrily at John, "Go away! You're not welcome here. This area belongs to the Rogue Knights!"

John moved nervously in his saddle, "Who says?"

"Says Sir Cassidy, that's who! Now, move! Get out of here," shouted a rider.

"I don't think so," said Pyotr, "Ve may go where we please, villain!"

"Shut yer pie-hole!" growled a rider.

John drew his sword, "That's it! YOU get out of OUR way...NOW!"

The rider wipped out his bow and fired at John, but John swatted it out of the air with his bow. John pointed his sword at the three riders and raced forward, followed by Pyotr and Bruce. Steven and Hilda readied their bows and waited for the perfect moment to shoot at the Rogues.

The leader of the three Rogues clashed with Pyotr. All were on horseback, so all were trying to protect their legs. Soon, however, a lucky strike hit Pyotr in the thigh, and he slipped onto the ground, gasping in pain.

John was fighting with a rider who was armed with a very sharp javelin. However dangerous it might have been, it did no good at close quarters, and John's sword severed his spinal cord.

But before John killed his foe, Bruce found himself fighting both the man he attacked and the man who had dismounted Pytor. It was quickly becoming too much for the young man to handle, and he kept recieving nicks on various places on his body. Just as they were about to overwhelm him, one of Steven's arrows found it's mark in the neck of the man who had wounded Pyotr. Bruce now was able to smack the remaining rider's sword out of his hand and dismounted him. Just as he thought the man was under control, the man pulled out a dagger and made ready to thrust into Bruce's stomach. Suddenly, Cornelius jumped out of nowhere and grabbed the man's arm. He kneed the man, shook the dagger out of his hand, and brought down his fist on the man's head. Stunned, the man fell to the ground. But Cornelius wasn't finished; he picked up a small log and dropped it on the man's skull. The Rogue let out a short, shrill scream and breathed his last.
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Re: Noble Order of the Knights of Prasden

Postby Seikfreid » Sun Jun 20, 2010 5:24 pm

Nice, I like where this is going. You also waste no time in describing insignificant things that occur during the heroes' travels, which makes for a shorter and more enjoyable story. Keep going!
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Re: Noble Order of the Knights of Prasden

Postby Sir Zeppelin » Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:24 am

Well, I just finished reading the entire thing. There were very few grammer errors; you did a pretty good job. You're getting better, so keep it up! :D

Seikfreid wrote:Nice, I like where this is going. You also waste no time in describing insignificant things that occur during the heroes' travels, which makes for a shorter and more enjoyable story. Keep going!


I agree with Seikfreid. You are like Raymond E. Feist in that respect.
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And his drop of reason.
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Re: Noble Order of the Knights of Prasden

Postby Napoleon » Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:28 am

Sir Zeppelin wrote:Well, I just finished reading the entire thing. There were very few grammer errors; you did a pretty good job. You're getting better, so keep it up! :D

Seikfreid wrote:Nice, I like where this is going. You also waste no time in describing insignificant things that occur during the heroes' travels, which makes for a shorter and more enjoyable story. Keep going!


I agree with Seikfreid. You are like Raymond E. Feist in that respect.


Thanks for reading, you two. :D Who is R. E. Feist?
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Re: Noble Order of the Knights of Prasden

Postby Sir Zeppelin » Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:34 am

Raymond E. Feist wrote The Riftwar Saga, which composes of Magician, Silverthorn, and Darkness at Sethanon, among several other books. I have only read Magician so far, but I'm trying to obtian a copy of Silverthorn from my local library. He is a good author, in my opinion; one that I would reccomend to you.
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Re: Noble Order of the Knights of Prasden

Postby Prince Imdol » Wed Nov 24, 2010 1:36 am

From what I have read, (I will admit, I have only read the first five installments), it seems to be a good story. I know I am in on this rather late, but if you're interested, I made some corrections in one of the installments:


"This is strange," said Steven, "These appear to be fresh hoof prints," he dismounted and inspected the prints, "And a lot of them at that. (Run on sentence) Whoever they are, they're heading toward the town. We better hurry, because they might be Rogues. They're known to raid towns around here."


The rider wipped out his bow and fired at John, but John swatted it out of the air with his bow. John pointed his sword at the three riders and raced forward, followed by Pyotr and Bruce. Steven and Hilda readied their bows and waited for the perfect moment to shoot at the Rogues. (This paragraph is fine, but it feels a big clunky. You use the words John a lot in the first two sentences. Deleting one would make for cleaner writing.)

The leader of the three Rogues clashed with Pyotr. Because (comma splice) All were on horseback, so(delete so) all were trying to protect their legs. Soon, however, a lucky strike hit Pyotr in the thigh, and he slipped onto the ground, gasping in pain.

John was fighting with a rider who was armed with a very sharp javelin. However dangerous it might have been, it did no good at close quarters, and John's sword severed his spinal cord.
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Re: Noble Order of the Knights of Prasden

Postby Napoleon » Mon Nov 29, 2010 6:55 pm

Sorry for not responding sooner, PI, I always have trouble keeping up with all the sites I go to.

Now, thanks for reading! :) Also, thanks for trying to help me out. Yes, I'll use those corrections. I'd kinda left this story, but, to tell you the truth, I've wanted to start it up again. It might not be immediate, but soon-ish. I'll let you know when I do.
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Re: Noble Order of the Knights of Prasden

Postby Throndor » Sun Dec 12, 2010 10:52 pm

AHAHAHO! Exciting! (nervously teeters from side to side grinning sheepishly, trying to retain some sort of sense of masculenity but failing miserably)
Excellent story, and I'm glad you brought Patrick back into it, we share a name and therefore I feel a need to send him my well-wishings. Keep it up!
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Re: Noble Order of the Knights of Prasden

Postby Napoleon » Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:50 am

Well, guys, this story is canceled.

But I'm writing a new, better one! :D More details forthcoming, when I get the website up, but it's called the Land of Vendameria, a late middle ages-Renaissance-esque story, which will be completely different and unrelated to Castleland. The best thing to compare it to would be the Three Musketeers, but far stranger.
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Re: Noble Order of the Knights of Prasden

Postby Throndor » Sat Feb 05, 2011 9:39 pm

YOU MAKE ME SAD. But still, as long as it's gonna be BETTER, I guess that's okay..... :cry:
If I were to make something out of LEGOs, I would probably use LEGOs. Pretty advanced stuff going on up in my head.
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Re: Noble Order of the Knights of Prasden

Postby Napoleon » Sun Feb 06, 2011 10:43 pm

Throndor wrote:YOU MAKE ME SAD. But still, as long as it's gonna be BETTER, I guess that's okay..... :cry:


Ah, yes, it will be MUCH better! :D I'm not actually too proud of NOKP anymore, as my writing skills have improved since I wrote it. The next story will be much more original, exciting, and mature. No more using names of actual LEGO castle themes as factions, as an example of the new level of maturity. :)
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