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Windfall

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Windfall

Postby Shadowviking » Fri Apr 22, 2011 3:47 pm

A long time ago, in about the same place I am now, I started a story, illustrated with LEGO. Then I stopped. Now, about two years later, I've continued it.

I have a really weird sense of time.

Chapter 1
Part 1:
Image
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9

Chapter 2
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Image




Feedback is always appreciated. :)
Last edited by Shadowviking on Mon May 16, 2011 7:11 pm, edited 8 times in total.
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Re: Windfall

Postby Thoriun » Fri Apr 22, 2011 5:32 pm

Hi

I just gave it a quick look, ant it sound great. have you consider making a small video of the first chapter? a stop motion one of course, :)

keep up the good flow going

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Re: Windfall

Postby Shadowviking » Fri Apr 22, 2011 10:01 pm

Thoriun wrote:Hi

I just gave it a quick look, ant it sound great. have you consider making a small video of the first chapter? a stop motion one of course, :)

keep up the good flow going

Thoriun


Um... no? I don't have the patience for stop motion, and the point was mostly to write a story... :P
Thanks though
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Re: Windfall

Postby Shadowviking » Wed Apr 27, 2011 6:33 pm

Chapter 2, Part 2 is up
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Re: Windfall

Postby ottoatm » Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:01 am

Sweetness!

What can I say, I'm a sucker for LEGO comics and stories.

Clearly the bard was not only drunk but also somewhat insane


Heh heh heh... love this line. :) Drunken dwarves and bards can get a bit old if it is played on too much, but they are very nice to have in a story, and so far it's been very funny - I even "LOL'd" once :wink:

The Transition to new characters in the story was quite confusing to me the first time - I thought I had clicked the wrong link or maybe that it was wrong, but after I got the hang of your style, it was fine and quite cool. You might want to make that first transition a bit more obvious just for the sake of allowing your readers to get used to it.

Very human personalities - all of the characters seem "real" so far, which is very cool. It will make the story interesting if you can keep it up! :)

Finally, the story so far is REALLY cool! It's kind of the basic undead story, but it does have a bit of a twist, which is the neat part of it all.

The vig with the Casket and priest in wagon is very well done and really sets a strong scene for the entry into the town.

On to Chapter 2!
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Re: Windfall

Postby Shadowviking » Fri Apr 29, 2011 2:42 am

ottoatm wrote:Sweetness!
What can I say, I'm a sucker for LEGO comics and stories.
Very human personalities - all of the characters seem "real" so far, which is very cool. It will make the story interesting if you can keep it up! :)
The vig with the Casket and priest in wagon is very well done and really sets a strong scene for the entry into the town.

Thank you very much! I hope I can meet or excel those standards. I appreciate the kind words!

Drunken dwarves and bards can get a bit old if it is played on too much, but they are very nice to have in a story, and so far it's been very funny - I even "LOL'd" once :wink:

:) The Bard here is a bit of a parody of such characters (especially one in particular who was already a parody) so I hope to keep that aspect interesting. He won't always be drunk, though. :>

The Transition to new characters in the story was quite confusing to me the first time - I thought I had clicked the wrong link or maybe that it was wrong, but after I got the hang of your style, it was fine and quite cool. You might want to make that first transition a bit more obvious just for the sake of allowing your readers to get used to it.

Yeah, there's a story behind that, which is boring. Better transition are a good idea, though I'm trying to make those sections less intrusive in general now.


Finally, the story so far is REALLY cool! It's kind of the basic undead story, but it does have a bit of a twist, which is the neat part of it all.

Mm, just wait. Mwahahaha.

Thanks again! :)
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Re: Windfall

Postby theboywarrior » Fri Apr 29, 2011 4:24 pm

Yeah, shaw that one comin'

He wasn't the only one :P
Nice job so far, I love how the story is really getting more and more interesting as it goes. :D
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Some kind we never forgive
Haven’t seen the back of us yet
We’ll fight as long as we live

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Re: Windfall

Postby Shadowviking » Wed May 04, 2011 9:46 pm

Thanks.


Updated with parts 3 and 4. I also replaced the placeholder image from part 2.
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Re: Windfall

Postby Shadowviking » Thu May 05, 2011 3:18 pm

Part 5 is up. It's longer than 3 & 4. I wonder if I should add each new part to it's own comment instead of just adding them to the main post...
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Re: Windfall

Postby Shadowviking » Sat May 07, 2011 6:11 pm

Chapter 2, Part 6
Image
The commander went even paler. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet, but seething with hatred.

<I will not let you insult the Empire so. You have s->
<Sealed our own fate?> cut in the Bard in a surprisingly clear voice.
The commander stared at him with equal confusion and annoyance before attempting to reply.
<What->
<That's what you were gonna say, isn't it?>
The commander glared at him again.
Bard smirked.
<You Roman blokes are so predictable. I almost wish you weren't bloody all dead.>
The commander snarled and lost his composure completely. His dry, dead throat rasped as he yelled.
<You will pay for your BARBARISM!>
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Re: Windfall

Postby Shadowviking » Mon May 09, 2011 3:05 am

Chapter 2, Part 7
Image

He thrust his spear furiously point first in the join of three paving stones, spun on the stone tiles and marched back into the tomb, the two soldiers following. His spear quivered in the tiles before the still-open doors.

“Perhaps someone other should have negotiated,” mused Sven.
“Yer the main character, mang,” shrugged the Bard. Sven arched an eyebrow at him.

Silence fell again over the party.
Darkness spilled like black blood from the yawning arch. A foul breeze wheezed in and out of the tunnel like a sick man's breath. From the depths of the tomb, inventory slots could be heard clicking as the Legion equipped its gear.
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Re: Windfall

Postby Shadowviking » Tue May 10, 2011 2:20 pm

Chapter 2, Part 8
Image

Collectively, at some unspoken command, the group walked into the catacombs. Solemnly they went, and slowly, all of them feeling the oppressive aura of the ancient place. Hands gripped tight around the hafts of myriad weapons, helms were fast around brows, armour clung tightly to bodies, and still they could not but feel utterly vulnerable. Something about the awful place sapped their energy, made them feel hopeless and lost, as if they could do nothing in there except wander infinitely. Some undefinable aura just broke them, made the entire party feel as if they could do nothing to save the village, or indeed themselves.
Last edited by Shadowviking on Mon May 16, 2011 7:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Windfall

Postby Halberd777 » Tue May 10, 2011 4:25 pm

I have to admit I got hooked. You have done a great job with not just the legos but also the story telling.
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Re: Windfall

Postby Shadowviking » Wed May 11, 2011 2:25 pm

Chapter 2, Part 9
Image
It was probably because it was pitch black.

Sven tripped.

“Somebody light a damned torch!”

His comrades muttered apologies as a torch flared into life. More followed- torches, not apologies- and Frosk and Edgar brought forth light from their staves as well. Sven glared at the gnarled root which he had failed to see in the darkness. Standing up, he brushed himself off and screamed casually as he came to eye level with a half naked, horrifyingly decrepit but evidently alive old man stepping out from an alcove. After a moment of tension and staring at one another, Sven coughed awkwardly and extended his hand.
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Re: Windfall

Postby Shadowviking » Mon May 16, 2011 7:08 pm

Image

“I am sorry, you startled me-”

The old man cut him off with a scream of his own, then giggled hoarsely and pressed something small and squishy into the Norseman's hand.

“It's dangerous to go alone,” he croaked. “Take this!”

He cackled and ran off into the darkness.

“Strange,” said Sven, before examining the object in his hand. The gift turned out to be a human eyeball.

He vomited.
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