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the adventures of klorox and boses chapter 1

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the adventures of klorox and boses chapter 1

Postby klorox » Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:11 pm

Klorox! come Klorox! shouted the great elf king. yes Boses?

answered Klorox. a young elf warrior.

I had a dream... Boses started, It was horrible, Blitzdrakes were raiding a town in Grimma.

Blitzdrakes? interupted Klorox, what ever is a Blitzdrake?

elf king Boses answered,

A Blitzdrake is a large menacing dragon with a spiked tip on it's tail.

Boses started again, the town was filled with Blitzdrakes and their fierce riders!

what will we do about this boses? asked klorox.

We will head for Grimma. said Boses.

But boses... how ever will we get there? asked Klorox

We shall head west for the sea ports and sail our way to grimma!

YES! shouted Klorox! This means adventure!

to be continued...
Last edited by klorox on Fri Aug 26, 2011 6:14 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: the adventures of klorox and boses chapter 1

Postby Bluesecrets » Mon Aug 22, 2011 11:49 pm

Hey Klorox...can I give you a little bit of help? It isn't criticism. Its just...that it is really hard to read your story without the proper grammar in it. It is really really difficult to tell who is talking and what they are saying. Here is what is probably should look like:

"Klorox! come Klorox!"

"yes Boses?"

"I had a dream... "Boses started, "It was horrible, Blitzdrakes were raiding a town in Grimma."

"Grimma? "interupted Klorox, "There has not been any sign of war or fighting in Grimma for over a hundred years."

Dwarf king Boses started again, "The riders were not resisting their attacks toward the villagers. The people's fighting back was useless against these fierce fighters and,"

"Boses! Please stop! I can't bear hearing this anymore!"

"But Klorox, we must go to Grimma! For I fear for those in Grimma. We must prevent this blitzdrake invasion!"

"Yes boses" agreed the young elf Klorox. And they set off through vation and the adventure began!

To be continued...
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Re: the adventures of klorox and boses chapter 1

Postby klorox » Thu Aug 25, 2011 11:49 pm

hey bluesecrets, I edited the text and the grammer in the story. I like the story better how for those who don't know what a Blitzdrake looks like, I had klorox ask Boses what a Blitzdrake is.

P.S. there is more to come soon :wink:
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Re: the adventures of klorox and boses chapter 1

Postby Kosh » Fri Aug 26, 2011 2:32 pm

How many different Boses's are there? I see reference to an Boses the Elf king and later a Boses the Dwark king....

You might wish to decide which is the 'Real' Boses and fix the other reference :^)
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Re: the adventures of klorox and boses chapter 1

Postby klorox » Fri Aug 26, 2011 6:16 pm

Kosh wrote:How many different Boses's are there? I see reference to an Boses the Elf king and later a Boses the Dwark king....

You might wish to decide which is the 'Real' Boses and fix the other reference :^)



WOAH! :shock: I did not notice that! I've edited that BIG mistake. oops :(
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Re: the adventures of klorox and boses chapter 1

Postby klorox » Fri Aug 26, 2011 6:40 pm

Boses and klorox headed west.

And when they got there,

Oh no! yelled Klorox!

The boats are all destroyed!

Hmmm, now what? Boses thought to himself.

I know! said Boses, we will take an airship!

Airship? said Klorox.

Airships are like a boat but they don't sail... they fly!

But how? asked Klorox

Levistones. answered boses

Levistones?

yes, they're power was discovered thanks to a dwarf warrior who made a fire over
a Levistone.

because the heat of the fire made the levistone well, Levitate!

Interesting. said Klorox

well, let's take an airship from the engineer in eastern vation!

what's his name?

not his, hers!

oh.

Her name is Aurelia.

then on to the east, to see Aurelia!

to be continued...
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Re: the adventures of klorox and boses chapter 1

Postby klorox » Sat Aug 27, 2011 1:19 am

Boses and Klorox travelled on through Vation.

Boses? asked klorox

Yes Klorox?

There is no where left to go now,

except through this dark, gloomy, dangerous and black cave.

so? said boses.

you wanted adventure, so let's go get some!

okay sadly said Klorox.

they ventured deep into a cave only to encounter what?

AAH! a Blitzdrake! shouted Klorox!

He and Boses drew their swords!

Klorox went to the face of the beast to distract it...

while Boses snuck around the back to say... lose the tail!

while any dragon is powered through the tail Boses had it all worked out.

while Klorox was still destracting the creature...

Boses delivered the final blow through it's heart!

woohoo! shouted klorox! way to go Boses!

and they made their way through to the exit.

and what do you know! the air docks were easily seen up ahead!

to be continued on the next chapter!
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