Classic-Castle.com


The source for all your LEGO Castle needs!

Majistos Return

Discussion of Castle Themed stories

Majistos Return

Postby Purple Wolf » Thu May 31, 2012 2:34 pm

Here is a story I'm am doing which probibly won't be updated very quickly. If there is any spelling mistakes please let me know so it won't happen in the future.

Enjoy :D

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=504555Chapter 1
http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=505040Chapter 2
http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=527632Chapter 3

Purple Wolf :)

P.S. Just thoguht that I should point out that my insperation for this is Formendacil A.K.A my older brother.
Last edited by Purple Wolf on Wed May 08, 2013 3:25 am, edited 2 times in total.
There's always room for dessert.
brickshelf
"Troll exist! They steal your socks but only the left ones whats with that?"
Image
User avatar
Purple Wolf
Hero
 
Posts: 325
Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 7:53 pm
Location: Wouldn't you like to know

Re: Majistos Return

Postby lord_of_orks » Thu May 31, 2012 2:48 pm

this looks to be a interesting you've started here :)
the only spelling mistake I saw is that you spelled armor armer :wink:
Image brickshelf flicker
one for all! all for one! every man for him self!
User avatar
lord_of_orks
Squire
 
Posts: 618
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2011 12:32 pm
Location: waiting to ambush the knights

Re: Majistos Return

Postby AK_Brickster » Thu May 31, 2012 3:45 pm

Overall a very interesting little cartoon.

Errors I spotted:

P1 - It should say, "The world is uneasy. Someone is returning, someone powerful. He will come to take revenge on the one who defeated him, and put him in his prison for all eternity."

P2 - "I didn't think this would be possible. I thought he would be gone forever and never be able to return."

P3 - just need to correct spelling of "armer"

P4 - Page number 4 doesn't exist.

P5 - "The armor was meant to bring peace and freedom to the mortal world... He made it so it would destroy the world and then he would take control of it."

P6 - No corrections. Looks good!

P7 - "It's time to call the others!" (you should use "it's" instead of "its")

P8 - Look good.

P9 - "Go, my little friend. Find them and tell them that I am waiting for their arrival."

I hope that helps! I recommend typing your script in Word or some other program that has a spelling and grammar checking function. The grammar checker might not work perfectly for a comic strip format, but it should help you catch most of the "their vs. there" and "it's vs. its" mistakes.

Keep up the good work! Looking forward to seeing the next chapter! :)
Image Image
Plastics make it possible! (BrickLink) - - - My Flickr Stream
Courage, Honor, Loyalty! For Garheim!
User avatar
AK_Brickster
Visconte des Paysans de Gong
 
Posts: 3219
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:02 pm
Location: Mushing through the Great Driftplains of Garheim

Re: Majistos Return

Postby Purple Wolf » Thu May 31, 2012 5:34 pm

AK_Brickster wrote:Overall a very interesting little cartoon.

Errors I spotted:

P1 - It should say, "The world is uneasy. Someone is returning, someone powerful. He will come to take revenge on the one who defeated him, and put him in his prison for all eternity."

P2 - "I didn't think this would be possible. I thought he would be gone forever and never be able to return."

P3 - just need to correct spelling of "armer"

P4 - Page number 4 doesn't exist.

P5 - "The armor was meant to bring peace and freedom to the mortal world... He made it so it would destroy the world and then he would take control of it."

P6 - No corrections. Looks good!

P7 - "It's time to call the others!" (you should use "it's" instead of "its")

P8 - Look good.

P9 - "Go, my little friend. Find them and tell them that I am waiting for their arrival."

Thank you for showing me my mistakes, it really help me know what I should avoid for the future parts of the story.

For page four well when I was makeing it page four was origanaly there but I got ride of it and made it part or page 5.

Purple Wolf :)
There's always room for dessert.
brickshelf
"Troll exist! They steal your socks but only the left ones whats with that?"
Image
User avatar
Purple Wolf
Hero
 
Posts: 325
Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 7:53 pm
Location: Wouldn't you like to know

Re: Majistos Return

Postby Purple Wolf » Thu Jun 07, 2012 3:44 pm

Here is chapter two. :)

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=505040

Now please don't ask why there is pages 1-9 and then 91,92,93 its complicated.

Purple Wolf :)
There's always room for dessert.
brickshelf
"Troll exist! They steal your socks but only the left ones whats with that?"
Image
User avatar
Purple Wolf
Hero
 
Posts: 325
Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 7:53 pm
Location: Wouldn't you like to know

Re: Majistos Return

Postby Purple Wolf » Wed May 08, 2013 3:28 am

Well I've finally desided to not be lazy and continue it.

So heres chapter three http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=527632

Hopefully I will get more done to it threww the rest of the year.

Anyways enjoy. :)

Purple Wolf :)
There's always room for dessert.
brickshelf
"Troll exist! They steal your socks but only the left ones whats with that?"
Image
User avatar
Purple Wolf
Hero
 
Posts: 325
Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 7:53 pm
Location: Wouldn't you like to know


Return to Stories

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron