Majistos Return

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Purple Wolf
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Majistos Return

Post by Purple Wolf »

Here is a story I'm am doing which probibly won't be updated very quickly. If there is any spelling mistakes please let me know so it won't happen in the future.

Enjoy :D

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=504555Chapter 1
http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=505040Chapter 2
http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=527632Chapter 3

Purple Wolf :)

P.S. Just thoguht that I should point out that my insperation for this is Formendacil A.K.A my older brother.
Last edited by Purple Wolf on Wed May 08, 2013 3:25 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Majistos Return

Post by lord_of_orks »

this looks to be a interesting you've started here :)
the only spelling mistake I saw is that you spelled armor armer :wink:
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Re: Majistos Return

Post by AK_Brickster »

Overall a very interesting little cartoon.

Errors I spotted:

P1 - It should say, "The world is uneasy. Someone is returning, someone powerful. He will come to take revenge on the one who defeated him, and put him in his prison for all eternity."

P2 - "I didn't think this would be possible. I thought he would be gone forever and never be able to return."

P3 - just need to correct spelling of "armer"

P4 - Page number 4 doesn't exist.

P5 - "The armor was meant to bring peace and freedom to the mortal world... He made it so it would destroy the world and then he would take control of it."

P6 - No corrections. Looks good!

P7 - "It's time to call the others!" (you should use "it's" instead of "its")

P8 - Look good.

P9 - "Go, my little friend. Find them and tell them that I am waiting for their arrival."

I hope that helps! I recommend typing your script in Word or some other program that has a spelling and grammar checking function. The grammar checker might not work perfectly for a comic strip format, but it should help you catch most of the "their vs. there" and "it's vs. its" mistakes.

Keep up the good work! Looking forward to seeing the next chapter! :)
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Re: Majistos Return

Post by Purple Wolf »

AK_Brickster wrote:Overall a very interesting little cartoon.

Errors I spotted:

P1 - It should say, "The world is uneasy. Someone is returning, someone powerful. He will come to take revenge on the one who defeated him, and put him in his prison for all eternity."

P2 - "I didn't think this would be possible. I thought he would be gone forever and never be able to return."

P3 - just need to correct spelling of "armer"

P4 - Page number 4 doesn't exist.

P5 - "The armor was meant to bring peace and freedom to the mortal world... He made it so it would destroy the world and then he would take control of it."

P6 - No corrections. Looks good!

P7 - "It's time to call the others!" (you should use "it's" instead of "its")

P8 - Look good.

P9 - "Go, my little friend. Find them and tell them that I am waiting for their arrival."
Thank you for showing me my mistakes, it really help me know what I should avoid for the future parts of the story.

For page four well when I was makeing it page four was origanaly there but I got ride of it and made it part or page 5.

Purple Wolf :)
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Re: Majistos Return

Post by Purple Wolf »

Here is chapter two. :)

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=505040

Now please don't ask why there is pages 1-9 and then 91,92,93 its complicated.

Purple Wolf :)
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Re: Majistos Return

Post by Purple Wolf »

Well I've finally desided to not be lazy and continue it.

So heres chapter three http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=527632

Hopefully I will get more done to it threww the rest of the year.

Anyways enjoy. :)

Purple Wolf :)
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