Barbapple wrote:Because here comes Barbod!
That's right! the much anticipated.....er......slightly anticipated.....er.....anticipated.....er...well someone must have been waiting for it...
wlister wrote:You might want to enlist an editor much the way Anthony has done. It takes someone who is outside the story to see some of the grammatical mistakes we make. There are a few here and they do detract from the story.
It looks really good, I like that you make the bulls the good guys, thinking outside the box there:)
Can't wait to see more
nice really liked it cant wait to se more of that story
Will the falcons defeat the Bulls? Is this the end of Barbod? I will make it my quest to find out...I just don't get why King Leo is with the bulls...
Great work! Nice plot! Can't wait for more!
I've been waiting ages for this!
I'll make a deal with you, I'll update the Lone Falcon Chronicles more often, and you continue to update the Tales of Barbod!
This is a great begining, at last we see into Barbod's past!
I can't wait for more!
Looks good so far! The pics are good and the story's good. I'd recommend running over your actual wording a bit more, sometimes your word order is a little confusing.
But otherwise, it looks great.
Great start! I can't wait to find out what happens in the next part, it will be good to see the battle. You have written it well, so that it ends on a cliff hanger (of some sort) so we (well, I) want to read the next bit.
I like the first part. It is very well done and it makes you want to read more. If you keep writing I'll keep reading!
Very Interesting story. You have a great start here. Keep it up. I like the way you have illustrated the story and I am looking forward to seeing some updates.
You might want to enlist an editor much the way Anthony has done. It takes someone who is outside the story to see some of the grammatical mistakes we make. There are a few here and they do detract from the story.
I'd be more than willing to be your editor, all I ask is due credit. PM me if interested.
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