Lurtz's 30th Birthday
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A continuation of Lurtz's 30th birthday.
It had been a bad 30th birthday for Lurtz. He had hurt his Uruk friends for bringing him honey that was actually sensitive to his honey allergies.
Then the police came to take him away, and he had hurt the police officer in his cave-troll like rage.
Then a little girl came (Lurtz reasoned she was a detective out to secretly capture him) from Autumn's Flower Emporium and Lurtz blacked out. As he came too, he saw he had removed the little girls head from her shoulders.
The stress from the day's agony had brought upon a pulsing migraine. The kind of migraine Lurtz needed to turn off all the lights and get in the bed. But sleeping in wouldn't pay the bills.
And so Lurtz headed to work, dressed nice and spiffy in his 3 piece suit. Someone would had to balance the company's checkbook, and it would be Lurtz, with his business degree.
As he boarded the subway, the young gentleman to his right smiled and said, "rock on brother, fight the establishment!"
The fair lass to his left (whom Lurtz thought looked all too beautiful with that thinning tank top) smiled at Lurtz. Lurtz mistook the smile as a "I want your phone number smile," and handed her his business card.
Unfortunately it was more of a "what a loser you are" smile, and the young lass responded by chuckling out, "my, it must be cold in here."
Lurtz looked down. He had forgotten his pants. Underneath his jacket was a pair of gray briefs. Gray briefs that were quite revealing.
Everyone on the subway laughed.
Lurtz looked forward in agony as his 30th birthday continued to wring out every ounce of happiness from his life. This day couldn't go by fast enough.
Happy Birthday Lurtz.