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Lurtz is an Uruk-Hai from "The Lord of the Rings." Lurtz did not actually appear in the books, but he did appear in the movie and had his 10 minutes of fame.

Anyways, it's Lurtz's 30th birthday.
I'm sure you didn't know that, so I have gone to the trouble to detail his elaborate, humorously sad, villifyingly long, 30th birthday.***
Some days are bad and some days are real bad. Saying Lurtz's birthday is anything but the latter, would be an absolute travesty to the abysmal experience of his 30th birthday.

Enjoy.

"Lurtz celebrated his 30th birthday. It was not an easy one. Lurtz seemed to think 30 was a harder birthday than any other one he had before.
Some Uruks came by to cheer up their sorrowful leader. They all chipped in every coin they had to afford a nice bucket of honey.
Honey was sweet.
Honey could cheer anyone up, even Lurtz.
Happy Birthday Lurtz."


Lurtz's 30th birthday by SSchmidt--, on Flickr


"Poor Uruks.
Lurtz is allergic to honey.
Happy Birthday Lurtz."



Lurtz's 30th Birthday by SSchmidt--, on Flickr

*** Detailing Lurtz's elaborate, humorously sad, villifyingly long, 30th birthday in two photos, is impossible. Feel free to follow the story at the aforementioned links.

That's pretty funny! If Lurtz's prefers, it can be his second 29th birthday.

Haha!

Lurtz's 30th Birthday by SSchmidt--, on Flickr

A continuation of Lurtz's 30th birthday.

It had been a bad 30th birthday for Lurtz. He had hurt his Uruk friends for bringing him honey that was actually sensitive to his honey allergies.
Then the police came to take him away, and he had hurt the police officer in his cave-troll like rage.
Then a little girl came (Lurtz reasoned she was a detective out to secretly capture him) from Autumn's Flower Emporium and Lurtz blacked out. As he came too, he saw he had removed the little girls head from her shoulders.

The stress from the day's agony had brought upon a pulsing migraine. The kind of migraine Lurtz needed to turn off all the lights and get in the bed. But sleeping in wouldn't pay the bills.

And so Lurtz headed to work, dressed nice and spiffy in his 3 piece suit. Someone would had to balance the company's checkbook, and it would be Lurtz, with his business degree.

As he boarded the subway, the young gentleman to his right smiled and said, "rock on brother, fight the establishment!"

The fair lass to his left (whom Lurtz thought looked all too beautiful with that thinning tank top) smiled at Lurtz. Lurtz mistook the smile as a "I want your phone number smile," and handed her his business card.

Unfortunately it was more of a "what a loser you are" smile, and the young lass responded by chuckling out, "my, it must be cold in here."

Lurtz looked down. He had forgotten his pants. Underneath his jacket was a pair of gray briefs. Gray briefs that were quite revealing.

Everyone on the subway laughed.

Lurtz looked forward in agony as his 30th birthday continued to wring out every ounce of happiness from his life. This day couldn't go by fast enough.

Happy Birthday Lurtz.

"It must be cold in here"

Poor Lurtz! He can't catch a break!!