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ORIGIN

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ORIGIN

Postby JPinoy » Thu Apr 27, 2006 7:22 am

I've finally chosen a most fitting name for the main title of my epic stories, ORIGIN. Origin is actually the name of the whole series. There are also substories in each book. Substories will be denoted as the title name then followed by the designations of "Episode", "Act ", and then Chapters.

The story is vast and timeleds, much like our world. Unlike most story-series, there's a specific set of characters in each book. Only a few of the characters are in all of the stories.

These are working titles and may change over time.

Origin: The Relic

Origin: The First Ones

Origin: The Most High

Origin: In Our Image

Origin: Veil and Apotheosis

Origin: The Age of Enlightenment

Origin: Thaumaturgy

Origin: Blood and Legacy

Origin: A Voice in the Wilderness

Origin: The Geometery of Machination

Origin: The Powers That Be

Origin: The Third Age
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Postby Hothir Ethelnor » Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:18 pm

???? sounds neat. but where are your stories? are they done yet?
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Re: ORIGIN

Postby Glencaer » Sat Apr 29, 2006 6:27 pm

JPinoy wrote:The story is vast and timelines, much like our world. Unlike most story-series, there's a specific set of characters in each book. Only a few of the characters are in all of the stories.


The one that I am most looking forward to is Origin: Veil and Apotheosis- I don't know what characters it involved or even a vague sense of the plot, but with a title like that, how could it be any thing but absolutely awesome?

On the other hand, Origin:The Geometry of Machination is also one I can't wait to read. Geometry was really hard for me in school, and I get the feeling that the Machi-Nations are going to be going to war with Geometry, which will be good. Man, I love nachos and queso (which means cheese in Spanish).

Consequently, this post has inspired me to finally give a title to my own epic. The epic will be about love and pain, and war and peace and crime and punishment and wars and stars and stuff. Just like reality. The name I picked is Begynning. The pun is the word "Begyn" which is also the name of the main character.

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the vaulted dome of
a temple of happiness. "
~-Milan Kundera-~
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Postby JPinoy » Sun May 07, 2006 10:43 am

The story is about the origins of everything we are and everything we have.

And Glencaer... "machinations" mean's a kind of plotting or sinister planning.
http://www.answers.com/machinations&r=67

"The Geometry of Machinations" deals about an ancient plot that is recently discovered in our modern times.
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Postby JPinoy » Sat Sep 02, 2006 9:32 pm

Here's a small excerpt from the first book of the series: ORIGIN. :)

This is an excerpt from the 5th chapter of the story.

Here the main characters, the only ones who appear in all 12 books are travelling along with archaeologist Dr. John Kainan around the world as he is attempting to prove his theory. He and his colleagues are going on an expedition to several sites around the world to find more clues and explanations to explain what is going on in the world right now. He also believes that these occurences have ties what has been recorded in history, alternative-history, the ramblings of some conspiracy theorists, world religions, legend, folklore, and mythology.

In this year, 2005, their third stop in their world expedition is at the Ifugao mountain region of the Philippines. Finally back to his homeland, coming from Russia, and the USA, he's glad to be home. Little does he know that he need not go elsewhere for answers after coming here.

He is accompanied by:
Prof. Katya Vladinova from Moscow University, an astro-physicist who also has an interest in conspiracy theories as Russia is rather open about UFOs.
Dr. Ryan Greenwood and Melissa Greenwood, historians and archaeologists from the Cambridge, they are also John's longtime friends and colleagues.
Rev. Alberto Santiago, a Filipino priest & religion-history expert from the Vatican who has heard of John's theories.
Kevin Chou, a young geologist from Hong Kong
Victor Pinipig, a local guide and cave explorer who moved back to the Philippines, coming from California.
Maj. Antonio Caceres (Ret.), a retired Philippine army major who has a nack for adventure and still has some connections with the Philippine military
Cameron Yeoman, a British-born agent of the local Hong Kong Triad, he is a "relic hunter" of sorts

There are other main characters appearing in the whole series, but they are to be kept secret for now.

Book One, Episode 2, Act VII, Chapter 5:

…. Small rocks are rolling along the slope of the cave, some of which tumble towards John's body hitting him on his shoulders as he lay upon the ground. John rolls to his left side as he pushes himself up and shakes his head attempting to open his eyes. "Dr. Kainan! Dr. Kainan!” For a few seconds there was no answer. “John, are you alright?" shouted Prof. Vladinova in concern about the well being of her colleague. She could not see anything but the haunting blackness of the cave and what little smooth stone ground that the daylight revealed as it passed beyond the entrance. She could see John about thirty feet below, moving about attempting to sit up.

Shaken by the fall, but with no injuries John finally opens his eyes to see the dimly lit ground. His hands are covered of small bits of gravel and dirt. His light brown pupils dilate, trying catch more light in order to see whatever laid around him. He could hear his colleague calling out in concern from the cave entrance. "Katya!" He replies in a loud voice as he sits up on the ground, "I am okay! I only slipped on some rocks and fell." The fast beating of Katya's heart subsides, as she felt relief knowing that her friend was not harmed. She sees him stand up and dust off the dirt from his denim pants and brown shirt. John then bends backwards a little, to crunch his vertebrae as he groans from the discomfort.

"Well. What do you see John?" Dr. Ryan Greenwood yelled as he approaches the entrance along with his wife. "Oh my God, is he alright?" Dr. Melissa Greenwood enquired as she trailed her husband. "He's not hurt." Katya replied as she continues to look down into the cave. She then looks to her left at Victor Pinipig smiles and raises her eyebrows to him indicating that he should go next. Victor could read the expression on her face and could tell what she wanted him to do. "Oh no. I only guide you. Dis is you and John’s idea." Victor remarks to Katya with a bewildered look upon his face. "Well, you’re the cave expert here... go right in..." She insists. “Besides, I don’t want to get my nice white blouse dirty.” Katya says jokingly. “Russians…” Victor mutters to himself.

Victor, with this pickaxe still in-hand, agreed to be the second person to enter the cave. He hesitatingly walks into the cave entrance and carefully negotiates the steep thirty foot slope. As he reaches the floor of this unusual cave, John reaches up to help stop Victor's downward momentum. "Sir, what is der? What do you see? I can not see anyting?" Victor inquires in his Filipino accented English. Both men strain their eyes trying to look forward. They could not see anything in front of them, but as the light reflects off the slope and the unusually smooth rocky ground beneath their feet, it reveals something unusual and unnatural about the cave. When they look towards their respective sides, then behind near the cave wall where the entrance was located, as well as where there should have been a ceiling with stalactites hanging like daggers above them they noticed something odd. There were no stalactites or anything else that a normal cave would have had.

Back at the cave entrance Katya sees the two men just standing there staring at some unseen object. Becoming annoyed at their lack of action, she yells to snap them out of their trance. "Well, grab your flashlights!" Katya exclaims with widened eyes from the cave entrance. The two men realizing what they saw came into a state of shock and amazement at the site before them. So much in awe, that they temporarily lost the ability to hear Katya’s pleas as her voice seemed to pass from one ear to the other.

John’s jaw opens slightly as he looks about at the sight in-front of him. "What the... This does not make sense! There is no way that a cave could be a perfect dome!" John exclaims to Victor as both men stare in wonder. "How is dis possible? I hab bin to many cabes, but what can cause this? Ano ba iyan?" Victor remarks with a bit of fear in his voice as he mixed English with some Tagalog in his speech. Their eyes soaked in the site of an enormous black void which lay in between the vaulting domed ceiling and the vast expanse of the smooth rock floor.

They soon came to a realization that this cave was not a cave at all as the walls behind them were smooth, lacking any rugged surfaces nor stalactites. "Hmmm... looks like Dr. Chou was correct. This IS a geological anomaly!" John exclaimed to Victor. Shaking his head and looking at John, "Ser, dos dat eben look ‘geological’ to you?" Victor replies with a deep sigh trying to catch his breathe. After a minute of standing in awe, they finally begin to come out of their state of amazement.

Coming to their senses, they realize the formerly faint sound to be that of Katya’s urging them to use their flashlights. “John! Victor! Turn! On! Your! Flash! Lights!” Katya yells, as she began to contemplate throwing rocks at the two men to snap them out of their apparent trance. Luckily, she didn’t have to as she sees their arms moving and reaching for the side pockets of their pants. Taking out their LED flashlights, both men, almost in unison, give their respective flashlights a few shakes, point them forward, and switch them on....
Last edited by JPinoy on Tue Jul 24, 2007 3:09 am, edited 12 times in total.
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Postby kelderic » Sun Sep 03, 2006 2:19 am

Wow, this is really good.

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Postby JPinoy » Sun Feb 18, 2007 6:04 am

Just so you know, the names Im using for the characters for the real story are different than the ones Im giving out here. I changed them for secrecy purposes.
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Postby ottoatm » Sun Feb 18, 2007 12:17 pm

Hmm... is the story posted somewhere online? The bit above looks really good, but seems a bit older... I'd love to see some of the other chapters too~
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Postby Prince Imdol » Sun Feb 18, 2007 2:47 pm

Ya, I would love to read your story. Maybe you could make a small website. That would be nice.!

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Postby JPinoy » Sun Feb 18, 2007 10:17 pm

Im still writing this story...

Keep in mind that there are 12 planned books, and that each book is divided into several "Acts", which in turn are divided into chapters. So yeah, this will be a lengthy work. And, no, I don't have the story online with the exception of that tidbit I posted in this thread.

ORIGIN is just the first book to introduce people into the most of the "universe" of the story.

My Lego collection is only a visual representative of the ORIGIN series, rather than the ORIGIN series itself being made as a "Lego Story". Just to make somethings clear... it's not like Ikros, or those other Lego stories you read online.

Already Im hard pressed to make the scenes and themes of the ORIGIN series into a visually pleasing LEGO creation. So now you guys have a clue as to why I've been building so many Lego armies for the past 4 years. It's just that the story takes place in such a vast setting.
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Postby JPinoy » Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:51 pm

I've made some "updates" on the first book. I also updated the excerpt I posted on this thread. It's a bit longer than before and far more descriptive.

I will also add in more excerpts in the future.
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Postby venvorskar » Mon Jul 23, 2007 1:00 am

This story looks interesting. Are you going to try to get it published?

Also, I noticed that the writing switches between the past and present tense a few times.

Present:
Shaken by the fall, but with no injuries John finally opens his eyes to see the dimly lit ground.


Past:
His hands were covered in small bits of gravel and dirt.


I don't know if that is intentional or not, but I just thought I'd mention it.
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Postby JPinoy » Mon Jul 23, 2007 5:28 am

Yes, I hope to get this published. But I think that much like Lord of the Rings, this will take a lifetime.

I've been busy going over parts that I've missed, as I've been reworking the wordings from past tense to present tense. Looks like I've been missing quite a few sentences... This will take a while... But it's a good thing to, as I only have book one up to Episode III.

I had to start changing the story from past to present as I decided to change the manner in which it was told, from being a kind of "history" such as something vague (less descriptive words to describe scenes) and being told from memory, into something akin to watching the acting in a TV show or movie.

So I started focusing on the very specific and minute details of every action that a character does, sees, feels, touches, and etc. I want the reader to know exactly whats going on, so they can picture the scene in their minds correctly. As well as convey the emotions that I want the readers to feel when they read what the characters are going through, as well as the scenes that happen.
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