The Wanderer (My Contest Entry; Completed 9-19-06)

nazgul · Post by **nazgul** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 7:10 am

smcginnis wrote:Thanks. It seems like what I said is true, that he'll be banished for Vasilis' death, but I don't know, it could turn out differently.

~smcginnis

But it sure seems to be being set up that way...; of course he could give him an incorrect treatment or the prince could be crippled for life or something which would really tick off the king, of course, all of those are pretty far-fetched...

Post by **Athos** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:23 am

nazgul · Post by **nazgul** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 7:21 am

Very Nice installment

. I'm glad that it wasn't the king's choice to have him thrown from the kingdom. But who is the new guy?

(This may be a mistake on my part but I beleive there is a mistype in the last picture)

All over very nice,
Nazgul

smcginnis · Post by **smcginnis** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 9:00 pm

Hmm... the plot thickens... like maple syrup in the snow... oh, excuse me, my mind was wandering. This is a very nice installment, I wonder what will happen next? As always, looking forward to more,

~smcginnis

Mike Viper · Post by **Mike Viper** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 9:19 pm

Great so far! Makes me want to enter, but I dare not torture the judge or judges with my horrible pictures, which, despite everyones help, are still horrible.

It seems like you got a plot made. Keep rolling. is there gonna be a battle?

Post by **Athos** » Fri Aug 25, 2006 12:42 am

nazgul wrote: (This may be a mistake on my part but I beleive there is a mistype in the last picture)

Yes that is a typo. I'm going to go back and fix it (and some other things) later tonight.

Steve

Post by **Athos** » Fri Aug 25, 2006 3:48 am

Here is the next addition. I've included scene 25 again, as I've rewritten it (further review this morning made me think it wasn't quite right and was too long):

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Athos ... tory25.jpg

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Athos ... tory26.jpg

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Athos ... tory27.jpg

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Athos ... tory28.jpg

The whole visionary story, when moderated, of course:

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=193873

Steve

smcginnis · Post by **smcginnis** » Fri Aug 25, 2006 4:53 am

Aha, he quests! I'm really liking this story. Cool name for the city. I like the way he was magically visited.

~smcginnis

Post by **Athos** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 3:43 am

smcginnis · Post by **smcginnis** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 4:04 am

Hmm, kind of saddish addition, but still good. I'm guessing that Kazimar's black robes at the beginning of the story are the same beige robes, but very dirty? Oh, and frame thirty-two doesn't work.

~smcginnis

Post by **Athos** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 4:11 am

That's because I forgot to upload it... its fixed now.

Steve

nazgul · Post by **nazgul** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 6:16 am

That's really, really depressing. Ah well, keep on writing, you've got me curious yet dreading for more

!

-nazgul

Post by **Athos** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 2:53 am

Well I finally feel like I'm nearing the end. I'll be glad when this is over and done with. Writing with a deadline is taxing work, but here is the latest:

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Athos ... tory37.jpg

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Athos ... tory38.jpg

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Athos ... tory39.jpg

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Athos ... tory40.jpg

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Athos ... tory41.jpg

The whole subterranian gallery:

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=193873

Steve

Shurtugal · Post by **Shurtugal** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 3:46 am

Story's good, but I've noticed a few grammatical errors in the most recent posts. Also, one of the frames seems to be an older version of the first one, and we're missing the encounter with the sahkar.

Good luck in the contest!

Post by **Athos** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 4:04 am

Could you point out the grammer errors when you notice them? I'd like to go back and fix them.

Also, one of the frames seems to be an older version of the first one, and we're missing the encounter with the sahkar.

What do you mean?

Steve