JoshWedin wrote:The grumpy old elf cursed under his breath as he plodded through the snow. In the trees near the elf prince Sarous watched wondering why the elf was grumbling, jumping from the branch landing in front of the elf sarous asked:
"Elf whats wrong?"
"Oh, my poor back", he grumbled while fixing his gaze on Sarous "Hmph, hmph, someone has stolen Santas´ hat!"
"Maybe I can help find the rouge that stole the jolly fat man's hat?
Do you have any idea what this rogue looked like?"
said the elf,
"She had long black hair, about six feet tall and very large..."
"Thanks to you the rouge is as good as caught."
"There! In the snow, there are tracks leading that way!"
Shouted the elf.
"Well... right you are!"
Grinned Sarous, clapping his hands together in apparent glee.
"What's this all worth to you?"
"What ever happened to the Christmas spirit?!", the old elf cried. Springing up, he lept upon Sarous and tied him to a nearby tree. "Try to profit off of Christmas, eh?", screamed the codger defiantly,"Fine, I'll go after the rogue myself!" And he tromped determinedly off into forest, leaving the prince sobbing pitifully.
"Wait", cried Sarous "the reason why I asked is because I was looking for donations to the orphange on volokaren but since this is christmas I will work for free."
"Orphanage, eh?" The elf stopped and turned around to face Sarous. "I haven´t heard of this Volokaren thing... is it close to the North Pole?"
"No my father is the monarch of the island its in the south", replyed Sarous, "my father made the orphanage with what stone and wood supplies he could. Now let us follow the tracks and speak of this later".
Suddenly, the buxom rogue leapt out from behind the sapling she had hid behind and bashed both of them over the heads with a candy cane. As the old elf passed out, he could have sworn the lady rogue was whistling "Little less talk and a lot more action". But he was probably wrong. Anyway, he liked peppermint and now his head had practically been caved in by the stuff.
The old Elf returned to consciousness. "what in Megablocks just happened", he thought. He started to get up, and heard a crackling noise. He looked around, and realized he and the still unconsciousness Sarous were lying on thin ice at the center of a large river. "Megablocks!"
"I had better go get him quickly before the ice breaks out!"Said the Elf.
So he ran as quick as he could out onto the ice- SLIP! The Elf had fallen!
"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!", flailed the Elf.
woken but the elfs cry sarous used his blades to steady himself to get over to the fallen elf draping the hurt elf over his shoulders sarous made his way back to the bank of the river with some dificulty seening how he was wairing dragon scale boots.
Falling down on the bank of the river, Sarous and the hurt elf lay there for a few moments, watching all the while for the buxom vixen who had earlier assaulted them.
Finally, Sarous picked the now cursing, kicking elf back up, and the two began walking down the nearest path, not knowing where they were going, but anyway, continuing the quest for Santa's hat... pieces of pepperment could be seen still falling from their slightly indented heads.
sudenly an idea struck sarous like a lightning bolt if I call my dragon we han hunt from the skies! without warning sarous let out a cry so pierceing the elf grabed his earsto block out the sound. "what the brick did you do that for"cried the elf dismaly."thhat was a dragon cry my dear simpalton"reply sarous calmly
And moments later an almighty gust of wind threw Sarous and the elf off their feet. As they got back up (the old elf cursing loudly) they saw a gargantuan white dragon with red scales sitting before them smiling serenely. (If dragons can smile, Sarous thought.)
"Good day to you, I am known as Lazarus Eugenius Gregorius Ovidius", the dragon said with an exotic accent.
"What the great, big, freakin' Megabloks is this?" whimpered Sauros,"You're not MY dragon!" "Of course not, you nitwit.", chortled the bashed, bruised, and battered old elf, "This is MY dragon friend."
Sudden fear gripped the usual confident prince...
"did this larger, red dragon have lunch of my own?"
A sudden "burp" came from the elf's dragon, and Sarous found himself desperately searching the sky as the two hopped ontop of the elf's dragon-steed.
"So, what does this ´Santa hat´ look like anyway?" Sarous asked to clear his mind of thoughts about dragon barbecue.
The elf stayed silent for a few moments, surveying the white landscape below them, before he answered:
"Well, now, that depends. It's smaller than a mountain and bigger than a breadbox, mostly red, with a pompom. Usually, that is.", the diminutive toymaker said, "It's got a mind of it's own and without the Boss there to control it, its any elf's guess what it looks like now."
Sarous replied, "I am no elf!" Feeling all the more empowered at his defiant exclaimation. He let out the dragon call again, louder and more forceful than he'd ever done. He was about to grin at his achievement when Laz started bucking, flailing and twirling. The awesome power of the dragon call was ringing in his ears, and he was forced to follow the sound. But since it was inside his head, he couldn't get it. In Laz's spasmodic frenzy, Sarous was thrown from the great dragon's back (his forearms were not as muscular as the elf's, and he just couldn't hold on) Sarous hurtled through the stratosphere...
The old elf looked over his shoulder and shrugged. No time to rescue the wayward prince, he had a hat to find. A very special hat. A hat with a mind of its own. And the dragon flew on...
...and on... and on... and on...
And suddenly amidst all the white below he spotted something curious.
"Hey, Lazarus, can you see that?"
"Do you mean that pink scarecrow?"
"Uhm, wasn´t it a sausage? Never mind, DIVE!"
"Hinc satis elucet maiorem habere uim ad discenda ista liberam curiositatem quam meticulosam necessitatem.”
- Augustinus Hipponensis