The Watch Tower Knight
The Watch Tower Knight
Since the story is still in construction there is only text, but who cares. The story is about a young servant whos town is attacked by an unknown force. The rest is for you to read...
http://www.freewebs.com/sirknight1/
note: I've only finished ch 1 so far, I will post updates. If you have any comment or if you have something against the story post here. Also there is a forum on the nav bar, so plz join.
http://www.freewebs.com/sirknight1/
note: I've only finished ch 1 so far, I will post updates. If you have any comment or if you have something against the story post here. Also there is a forum on the nav bar, so plz join.
Last edited by Blue Head on Sun Apr 08, 2007 11:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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I really like this story. You do a good job describing the young boy's attitude towards the world. I can't wait to read the rest.
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The second chapter is done, and can be found on the site under nothing else but the second chapter on my freeweb. Take a look!
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- Prince Imdol
- Master
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- Location: Massachusetts
It looks like you have a good start. I do suggest making a charecter page, because your story is a bit confusing, and also I suggest maybe making the sentences a bit longer and more detailed writing wise. \
Although in seens, keep them short and sweet.
P.I
Although in seens, keep them short and sweet.
P.I
Thomas C.
"Sow a thought, reap an action;
Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny"
"Don't let school interfere with your education."-Huckleberry Finn
"Sow a thought, reap an action;
Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny"
"Don't let school interfere with your education."-Huckleberry Finn
I'll take your advise and make the character page. Hope it helps, more will be added onto it as I make more of the story.
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- Maedhros
- Knight Templar
- Posts: 1885
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- Location: The dark forests of Sweden
- Contact:
Hmm... if you want my view I advice you to not do a character page.Blue Head wrote:I'll take your advise and make the character page. Hope it helps, more will be added onto it as I make more of the story.
I think it's much nicer to get to know the characters as you read the story, and that way you skip the possible spoilers of a character page too...
..and, what usual novel has a character page in the beginning anyway?
I´ll comment on the story later...
"Hinc satis elucet maiorem habere uim ad discenda ista liberam curiositatem quam meticulosam necessitatem.”
- Augustinus Hipponensis
- Augustinus Hipponensis
good point, I'll wait to make my decision after some more people reply. :D
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- Prince Imdol
- Master
- Posts: 1762
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- Location: Massachusetts
I mean just a charecter page with the peoples names, ranks, where they live, but no giving away stuff.
Thomas C.
Thomas C.
Thomas C.
"Sow a thought, reap an action;
Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny"
"Don't let school interfere with your education."-Huckleberry Finn
"Sow a thought, reap an action;
Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny"
"Don't let school interfere with your education."-Huckleberry Finn
well... ill see, as for now i have to compliet the story...
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- Maedhros
- Knight Templar
- Posts: 1885
- Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2005 8:22 pm
- Location: The dark forests of Sweden
- Contact:
Well, I for one still think having that page there is "giving away stuff" but that´s just me...Prince Imdol wrote:I mean just a charecter page with the peoples names, ranks, where they live, but no giving away stuff.
Thomas C.
Including a little list at the end for reference might be an idea though. (But you don´t need to worry about that before you get there I guess )
"Hinc satis elucet maiorem habere uim ad discenda ista liberam curiositatem quam meticulosam necessitatem.”
- Augustinus Hipponensis
- Augustinus Hipponensis
Okay, ill think about it okay, any way... the third chapter is done, kinda short, but done non-the-less! This is where it starts to stray away from real medeivil and into a little bit of fantacy.
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- Prince Imdol
- Master
- Posts: 1762
- Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2006 1:11 am
- Location: Massachusetts
- Prince Imdol
- Master
- Posts: 1762
- Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2006 1:11 am
- Location: Massachusetts