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Story by Quickblade

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Story by Quickblade

Postby Quickblade22 » Sun May 06, 2007 1:15 am

Hello all, I've been working on a story for quite a while and now that I have a website up, I thought I'd share it with the community. First off, the website was put together by my wife over the past few days. Without her, I'd probably spend the next 5 to 10 years talking about getting the story out. Secondly, there are no pics yet because I'm too picky about how they look and I need a new digital camera. I am however working with an extraordinary artist who is a familier 'face' to the CC community. He's hit a few setbacks and is not ready to display any of his work yet. I'd really like to hear from the members here and would be happy to discuss the website or story with any of you. Feel free to PM me with any questions or comments. Looking forward to your responses. So without further blabbering , I give you (working title) Roaring Sun http://quickblade22.tripod.com/id2.html

website: http://quickblade22.tripod.com/

Hurray for me...22 posts...which is significant only to me
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Postby Prince Imdol » Sun May 06, 2007 1:45 am

There are a lot of roman like names, which is good, but too much is not my taste. I do like your progression through the chapter, but it is kind of bumpy. Try smoothing it out with some pronouns, and ad-verbs.
A story would not be a story without twists and turns, but you use a myriad of special changes to make your story very "ungeneric." The point is the "Put a man in a tree. Throw rocks at him. Get him down." does not apply for your stories because getting the person down may not be the objective. And the rocks are not always metaphorically "thrown".
I love your plot line. It is a little confusing though, which is good because it leaves the reader thinking a little, and making him want to read the next chapter to clear up things.
Well, that is what I think of your story. It lacks many things, but it has a many great features.


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Thomas C.
"Sow a thought, reap an action;
Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny"

"Don't let school interfere with your education."-Huckleberry Finn
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Postby Maedhros » Sun May 06, 2007 7:47 am

You´ve used signs of the Zodiac as names, haven´t you? That's quite cool...

You have quite a good looking site there but I don't really like the Lion crests that you have everywhere, they make it really hard to read in some places.

Overall, good work though!
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Postby Quickblade22 » Thu May 10, 2007 1:17 am

Hey guys, thanks for replying. I should've said that I hope to submit a new segment weekly. I might be able to work in a slide show in the future.

Prince Imdol: The names are actually Latin and Greek. As for the rest of your post, I have no idea what you're talking about. Thanks all the same, when I was your age. I was making all the same mistakes you are making now in your own story. Trust me it gets better. :wink:

Maedhros: Actually, Almost all the names in my story are either constellations or star names. Some names are made using parts of the word and rearranging the letters. There is a method to my maddness, for lack of a better word, as relates to the character's names and official factions. Thanks for the comments on the website. I changed the site a little.
Chief Smithy of Brick Forge
I buy LEGO, I play with LEGO, therefore LEGO are not for children, they are for me!
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Quickblade22
22 times da man
 
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Postby Prince Imdol » Thu May 10, 2007 1:51 am

Quickblade22 wrote:
Prince Imdol: The names are actually Latin and Greek. As for the rest of your post, I have no idea what you're talking about. Thanks all the same, when I was your age. I was making all the same mistakes you are making now in your own story. Trust me it gets better. :wink:



Do you mean spelling?
I read my post, and I have no idea what I just said.

P.I
Thomas C.
"Sow a thought, reap an action;
Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny"

"Don't let school interfere with your education."-Huckleberry Finn
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Postby TheOrk » Mon Jun 04, 2007 1:00 am

Hey Quickblade22!

I've only read part of your story, but I like what I read. My advice to you is not to get to deep into it without adding pictures. It really kills the LEGO aspect of it.
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