Fallen

Discussion of Castle Themed stories
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Maedhros
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Post by Maedhros »

Athos wrote:
So, to celebrate my

1001st post (someone has to be the oddball, right? )
viewtopic.php?t=7513&highlight=1001 :wink:

Steve
Great minds think alike you now ;)
Spongey wrote:This prologue is amazing. I can really feel the eeriness of the whole setting, and I can see you've done a lot of research into language, and put a lot of effort into history. Good job!
Thanks! There isn´t that much research involved though as the languages are my own now... When I started on this world a few years ago I used Welsh, Latin and Anglosaxon with some minor twists but now I´m devising tongues of my own, but with some borrowed phonology from different languages. So, the Cyreyna do sound quite a bit like Welsh, but it is a unique language.
Prince Imdol wrote:I like this prologue. Although I think you can describe the characters a bit more. Maybe some of the outside looks. The building, the floor, let your mind go loose with what you can think of. You did a great job on the illustrations.
Thanks, I´m glad you liked it. About descriptions though I think that´s more to personal preference. I quite like the vague descriptions of characters actually, describing Aerydd´s features as "weather-beaten" for example is about enough for me. But I guess that´s just my taste.
ZIGGY! wrote: You mean spun right :wink: Great story so far!
Blasted American grammar :P That´s about the 57387599th time I have heard that ;) And now according to "The Advanced Learner´s Dictionary of Current English, Second Edition, Oxford University" it can be either spin-span-spun or spin-spun-spun.

I really needed to say that :P
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Maedhros
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Post by Maedhros »

The first chapter is finally up... and yes, there is some thought behind the fast pace and the myriad of characters. Everything will be revealed in time...

Let me know what you think!
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Prince Imdol
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Post by Prince Imdol »

This chapter is quite nice, although it is a little confusing. I love the illustrations.


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Post by The White Tsintaosaurus »

The teaser reminds me of the book The Giver, but the story doesin't.
where did you get the music for the teaser? it makes it sound creepy but sad at the same time.
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Post by ottoatm »

The White Tsintaosaurus wrote: it makes it sound creepy but sad at the same time.
Heh heh heh... it just occurred to me that this is a perfect description of a good "maedhros" story. :D
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Maedhros
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Post by Maedhros »

ottoatm wrote:
The White Tsintaosaurus wrote: it makes it sound creepy but sad at the same time.
Heh heh heh... it just occurred to me that this is a perfect description of a good "maedhros" story. :D
Hehe.. thanks I guess ;)

@ White Tsintosaurus: The music is from a song by Apocalyptica. They are a heavy metal band using cellos, you should check them out!
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Post by venvorskar »

I read both the introduction and Chapter 1, and I think it is well written, although the story is a bit too strange for me, and I would prefer more background information about the characters and the world they are in. And it is amazing that you are thinking up a whole new language for the story! That must be a lot of work.

The teaser movie could have been a lot better. Basically it was only still pictures and text. It would have been much better if there was some scenes from the story done in stop-motion animation.

The first picture in the introduction was impressive, as the sky looked very real, and like it was part of the scene. (Was the sky a real picture or was it computer generated?) But some of the dark pictures look like they were taken at a normal level of brightness and then darkened.

In the picture of the three pirates, what set does the torso of the pirate on the right come from?
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Post by Sir Kohran »

Wow! Great work, Maedhros. I agree with what the other guys said - it's good how you give the prologue a very dark, grim, almost creepy feel with all those shadows, the gothic look and the blackness of the manor with the tiny fire giving just a touch of light - reminds me of some of HG Wells' horror stories. Then everything becomes brighter in chapter 1 which is a solid obvious way of showing the shift in style. Your illustrations and models are well-done (I particularly like the table design). My only 'critique' is that the environments in chapter 1 could do with some more details (windows, chests, candles, etc.) and that the photo with the cool table I mentioned previously, the back-shot of the pirate is too blurred. I skimmed most of the story, but it does look very good and I hope to see more in future.

- Matt
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Maedhros
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Post by Maedhros »

Thanks for the coments!
venvorskar wrote:I read both the introduction and Chapter 1, and I think it is well written, although the story is a bit too strange for me, and I would prefer more background information about the characters and the world they are in.
I have heard that from a lot of people, and I quite expected it, but there is thought behind it as I mentioned before. The idea is that the story will be a bit like a puzzle with the first chapter as an intro and the others being a piece each that both unveils a bit about the past and the present.
And it is amazing that you are thinking up a whole new language for the story! That must be a lot of work.
It's not really just for this story, and besides I don't need that advanced grammar for the few sentences or words I have here... But I really love everything to do with linguistics so it's no burden!
The teaser movie could have been a lot better. Basically it was only still pictures and text. It would have been much better if there was some scenes from the story done in stop-motion animation.
That's true, but on the other hand it was just that; a teaser. I'd like to try some brickfilms in the future though, but as of now I don't have good enough software, nor camera.
The first picture in the introduction was impressive, as the sky looked very real, and like it was part of the scene. (Was the sky a real picture or was it computer generated?) But some of the dark pictures look like they were taken at a normal level of brightness and then darkened.
The sky was real yes, I much prefer that to computer generated ones. And all of them were darkened (using black layers with varying degrees of opacity in Photoshop). I have never been able to take real pics with dim lighting..
In the picture of the three pirates, what set does the torso of the pirate on the right come from?
It's the vampire torso from the Studios sets.
Sir Kohran wrote:Wow! Great work, Maedhros. I agree with what the other guys said - it's good how you give the prologue a very dark, grim, almost creepy feel with all those shadows, the gothic look and the blackness of the manor with the tiny fire giving just a touch of light - reminds me of some of HG Wells' horror stories. Then everything becomes brighter in chapter 1 which is a solid obvious way of showing the shift in style. Your illustrations and models are well-done (I particularly like the table design). My only 'critique' is that the environments in chapter 1 could do with some more details (windows, chests, candles, etc.) and that the photo with the cool table I mentioned previously, the back-shot of the pirate is too blurred. I skimmed most of the story, but it does look very good and I hope to see more in future.

- Matt
Glad you liked it. I hope to continue this in a not-so-far future but right now I have another little project going on, and I do need some more special parts before I can continue..
"Hinc satis elucet maiorem habere uim ad discenda ista liberam curiositatem quam meticulosam necessitatem.”
- Augustinus Hipponensis
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