by footsteps » Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:05 pm
ARTHUR: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
[pause]
I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
[pause]
I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot.
[pause]
You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
[pause]
You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: What?
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: Then you shall die.
ARTHUR: I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: I move for no man.
ARTHUR: So be it!
ARTHUR and CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.
[ARTHUR chops the CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT's left arm off]
ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm's off!
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: No, it isn't.
ARTHUR: Well, what's that then?
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: I've had worse.
ARTHUR: You liar!
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: Come on, you pansy!
[clang]
Huyah!
[clang]
Hiyaah!
[clang]
Aaaaaaaah!
[ARTHUR chops the CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT's right arm off]
ARTHUR: Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: Hah!
[clunk]
Come on then.
ARTHUR: What?
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: Have at you!
[kick]
ARTHUR: Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR: Look, you stupid snack food. You've got no arms left.
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: Yes I have.
ARTHUR: Look!
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.
[kick]
ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: Chicken!
[kick]
Chickennn!
ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your leg.
[kick]
Right!
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT's right leg off]
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: Right. I'll do you for that!
ARTHUR: You'll what?
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: Come here!
ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: I'm invincible!
ARTHUR: You're a looney.
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: The Cheese-Puff Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then.
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT's last leg off]
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: Ooh. All right, we'll call it a draw.
ARTHUR: Come, Patsy.
CHEESE-PUFF KNIGHT: Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow jelly beans! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!
I'm a human BEING, not a human doing!
The two most important days of your life are the day you are born
and the day you discover why. (Donald Sensing)
One plus one equals three... for large values of one. (Bruce Fournier)