"Let me tell you a story"

Discussion of Castle Themed stories
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kajo163
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"Let me tell you a story"

Post by kajo163 »

Hey, everybody

Here's a try to convert a story I wrote last year into the Lego world.
Now remember, this is just part 1. When In the comming days I hope to be able to complete the story.

Some background info that you could have use of knowing, the story is set in the little sea town of Lysyrvā, the tollmaster is the person who is responsible for bringing the king his toll on the trede in the port, since this is a very small port (the smallest in all of the kingdom actually) he has'nt got very much to do, although his other duties include to uphold the law.

It is short after a great war between two kingdoms of the same people, the jolarians, and in the second part, you will learn how the two kingdoms split in the first place.

Now enjoy:

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Kajo/ ... sbtf/1.bmp

And see the rest here :wink:
http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=133542


Joel, with pen and camera.
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eNiGMa
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Re: "Let me tell you a story"

Post by eNiGMa »

kajo163 wrote:Now enjoy:
I enjoyed! Keep updating, I want to see what the tollmaster does!
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The Hordesman
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Post by The Hordesman »

bmps take some time to load before I can see them... And theyre pretty big, can you resize them please? :wink:
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kajo163
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Post by kajo163 »

Hey, thanks for the comments, guys.

I've rescaned the pics into jpeg form, just waiting for the remod to be done...

Joel
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The Hordesman
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Post by The Hordesman »

Thanks!

Interesting story, I wonder what will happen... First time a tollmaster plays the main character of what Ive ever seen. Interesting! :)
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DarkDotDotDotMan
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Post by DarkDotDotDotMan »

Wow... With all these stories coming out, each a fantasic tale worthy of kings, who need's to go outside? Or to a library? This site alone has stories of great compelling attraction!

... Back in ::On Topic-Land::

I enjoyed this story and when though this was written a year ago, it is still very good! An original point of view, a slightly cliche "MYST-ery" :D place and the standard strangers-wanting-something characters, this is a recipe for a goood story! Keep it up! I'm wanting for the next chapter!
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Athos
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Post by Athos »

Interesting story. I like the introductory "let me tell you a story" motiff. Very Canterbury Tales like. I hope you continue that. Maybe let a different person tell a part? Have all their stories link together to form your epic?

I love the "I sank" picture. :D

I also like the black border you put around the pics. Something I should maybe try...

On the negative side, I noted some typos, but I can hardly complain since my stories are probably full of similar errs.

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kajo163
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Post by kajo163 »

Hmm, thanks for the comments, guys! And now it's time to present the rest of the story, now it has taken i while and I hope that the people who read the first part have'nt forgotten everything :)

I thought I would be done with this a few days after the first part was uploaded, but now it's been over three months! Maybe next time I'll plan the whole thing better...

I'll be away tomorrow, so if the folder does'nt go public until then, I wont be here to present it right away, and that's why I give you the link TODAY :) Be patient, it's over 40 pics! Maybe it will take some time for the admins over at BS to check it through, but when it goes public: Enjoy!

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=133542


Joel- my lego is my castle- :wink:
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DarkDotDotDotMan
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Post by DarkDotDotDotMan »

The story is interesting and compelling. What you have to fix are the constant spelling, grammer and punctuation mistakes that litter your story. Besides that, nothing else needs to be said.
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TheOrk
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Post by TheOrk »

Great story Kajo! I don't really have anything else to add that hasn't been said already. It does have several prominent spelling errors though.

By the way, I've added this to the Ultimate Stories List!
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kajo163
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Post by kajo163 »

Thanks Ork! making the USL was my goal all along! :)

Maybe I need someone going through the text and correcting my errors, english is'nt exactly my native language...
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Graynar
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Post by Graynar »

kajo163 wrote:
Maybe I need someone going through the text and correcting my errors, english is'nt exactly my native language...
Hey we all make mistakes. Your story is pretty good. You should think of making a real website for it. :wink:

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DarkDotDotDotMan
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Post by DarkDotDotDotMan »

... Maybe I need someone going through the text and correcting my errors, ...
Hey... kajo163... If you dont mind, I'll be more then willing to fix the text if you want me to. Just e-mail me if you want me to do so.
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kajo163
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Post by kajo163 »

Hey, DarkDotDotDotMan!

Hope you got that message!

Noe for the rest of you, the lingustique aspects of my stories will soon be sorted out I hope.

Now what I´d like to ask the rest of you for is comments on the models, figs and pictures built for, and used in the story. What do you think about the figs, settings and such.

Thanks for your time and comments, always trying to be a better writer.

joel
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JoshWedin
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Post by JoshWedin »

Great story, I too want to know what happens next! This was my favorite pic:
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Kajo/ ... btf/10.jpg

Don't know why but it cracked me up. Thanks for the great read...

Josh
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