Tony's CCCV Contest Criticism

[Hob Took]

Why not? My trojan horse entry (that was supposed to be in the historic event category) from Medieval Legends.



Hob Took

[Peppermint Pig]

Lord Sava, now you are under close scrutiny of the Poles.
Consider yourself warned

EDIT: It's becoming "good cop/bad cop" game, I love that!

Lol... I'll consider myself on notice.

I'm not sure how wise this all is. Not only do I usually have a hard time giving criticism, but if this helps people improve, next years contest will be even harder to grade... ugh.

--Tony

The more you practice at giving critique, the better you become at giving it. It benefits everyone.

[Azaghal]

Hey, Sava, it sure is nice of you to offer up your criticism like this. I was wondering what you thought of my Sea Treeentry?

[SavaTheAggie]

Lord Sava, please, I beg you, tell me why these two sucked:
Tower of London from Misc
http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=292885

Tower of London Chapel from Castle Space
http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=292890

Thanks for the feedback!

Your Tower of London MOC suffers from its' size. It's a very imposing MOC, but given its' enormous size the pictures that we limit the contest cause its' detail to be lost. The terrain around it is also a bit plain, whether that be a fault of the subject or design. Large MOCs such as these are great to look at, but usually fail to score highly in our contests specifically because their detail is lost from afar.

Your Chapel suffers from it's pictures. We can't get a good overall look at your MOC because we're having to look through pillars and their shadows. It looks to have been well thought out, but it's hard to see what's there. I would suggest removing pillars and other structures in the foreground when photographing so that they don't obscure the rest of the MOC.

--Tony

[SavaTheAggie]

ooh ooh do mine too

I'm not going to go searching for your MOCs for you. Please provide a link to the MOC you'd like me to critique.

--Tony

[SavaTheAggie]

So as not to be a hypocrite I offer up the creation that I thought was the weakest in my collection of 6.

Musashi vs Kojiro


Although it was my weakest entry (IMO), I really love this MOC because it gave me a chance to make a tribute to one of my personal heroes, Miyomoto Musashi.

Go, my child, into the salavating maw of Sava's critique ...

Your MOC is well built, and there's a lot of great tension that can be felt between the two figs. Unfortunately, there really isn't a lot of playability here, and I know the figs are supposed to be stoically staring each other down, but there really isn't much 'life' to be seen. I would have liked to have seen more detail on the beach (rocks, change in elevation, etc.), and the studs on the wave put next to studless water is very distracting. If you're going to use studless water I would have much rather seen slopes and tiles on the large wave (excepting, perhaps, studs on the white foam to add texture).

It works really well as a coffee table conversation piece (read: scultpure), but it doesn't feel as 'alive' as I would have liked.

--Tony

[SavaTheAggie]

Hi Tony!

This is me entry, to Medieval Legends categorry:


The Last Adventure


The Dragon of Wawel Hill

Please comment my work!!

Both of these MOCs made it in the top ten for the Medieval Legends category, which means they both scored high, and also makes them hard to critique.

Your Last Adventure is the better of the two, in my opinion. There's a lot of action, great positioning of minifigs. I'm not always a fan of studless design, but your use of it here makes your MOC look very clean and finished. I would have probably liked to have seen the base of the MOC built up a bit, though, to balance the large dragon, and would have allowed for a bit more elevation changes to make it look a bit more interesting.

The Dragon of Wawel Hill is also well done, the dragon is fantastic. I like the beefier base terrain, which really helps to balance out the large dragon. However, aside from the dragon, there really isn't much going on, which may be more the subject than design. I would have liked to have seen perhaps a bit more foliage, or more variation in texture as the hill slopes down towards the water's edge.

--Tony

[Iskra]

However I will say that without any 'live' minifigs in the dungeon area, it seems pretty, well, dead. Also, the connection between the two rooms isn't very obvious, I'm not sure how they connect. Granted, I *think* you were trying to show what would happen to the Queen's 'friend' if he was caught, but as a judge I'm not allowed to assume anything, I have to take everything at face value. It would have been better, I think, to have somehow shown a connection between the two rooms, either by a more obvious physical connection (hallway, something) or turned it into a vignette, with the figs repeated in each room like a before and after.

--Tony

Hey Tony,

You misinterpreted this one. The 'dungeon' area is actually the secret passage leading to the queen's room that her paramour is escaping into. At the far left of that image, the brown is the door that is disguised as a wardrobe in the queen's room.

Bruce

Exactly.

Ooh... dang, I feel embarressed. Knowing this I would have really liked a better shot connecting the two, perhaps replacing the close up shot of the man escaping into the wardrobe with one looking out of the passage into the room through the wardrobe, to illustrate the connection between the rooms.

My apologies.

--Tony

It's ok. I know the connection between the chamber and the 'dungeon' wasn't so obvious and you might not have seen it at first glance (though it was written about it in the description). I thougt about making two photos - one as you see above and one with the paramour running by this 'dungeon', but I didn't know if I can move minifigs (you know - in one photo they are in one place, and then in another) and it was too late to ask.

Thanks for your comment.

Iskra

[boses]

What do you think of my Black Dragon???



Here is the folder...

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=286748

[Athos]

My, you've got a lot of commenting to do...

I'm curious what you thought about my farm:

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=284924

And William Tell:

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=284932

As well as any of the rest of my entries, you may have strong feelings on:

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=284922

Steve

[LORD DOOM]

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=289722

I dare you to defy Lord Doom! =P

JK Tear it apart. >=D I know I did!!!
Muaha!






EDIT - I meant no disrespect Lord Tony.

[Hippotam]

Lord Sava,
Our club fellow Liwnik for some reason can not register on CC forum and he asked me to post on his behalf:

Please, comment on the Port Crane, submitted to Trade & Industry category:


Thank you!

[architect]

Lord Sava,
Our club fellow Liwnik for some reason can not register on CC forum and he asked me to post on his behalf:

Please, comment on the Port Crane, submitted to Trade & Industry category:


Thank you!

The Port Crane entry was actually one of my favorites for this category. It does have a few flaws. The action of the scene does not relate well to the crane. Second, we have this nice giant crane lifting a single wheel. I would hope to see a heavy crate being lifted from a larger ship or barge. Black is hard to photograph, so perhaps better lighting or using a different color for the crane would have helped. The moc is also very monochromatic. Using more mottling for a cobblestone street and canal/dock wall would help. A plant or vine would also add color.

In summary, I like that this moc is original, but it fails to have the nice details, action, and playability to be a winner or honorable mention this year.

Ben

[architect]

My, you've got a lot of commenting to do...

And William Tell:

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=284932

Steve

I also really liked this entry. You captured the action of this great story nicely. The cap on a pole and cobblestone courtyard were built well. Your well is nice but needs a slightly larger roof.

While each of the tudor style buildings are classic in appearance, they need help.

- Using one horizontal black plate as a band around the timber frame building does not look as good as using two plates. It also helps to stagger the horizontals once they come to another vertical post.

- Using 1x2 black bricks (under the windows) does not look as good as using all 1x1 bricks.

- I also think that you do not have enough vertical posts in your design.

- If you insist on keeping 3x3 sections of wattle and daub on a smaller moc, using cross bracing timbers (1x tiles applied on the outside attaching to technic pins in 1x1 technic bricks) would be helpful.

- The 4 wide chimneys need to go up higher before transitioning to a 2x flue. This is usually above the height of the firebox and mantel. Try using 1x2x3 slopes or 1x2x1 slopes to make this transition.

- Your 1 brick high bandboards at the beginning of the second floor and attic floors are too high for the small scale of your building. Try making these bands 2 plates high instead.

- Make each building more unique. They all are extremely similar. Having a different window type or location would be good.

I hope that you find these suggestions helpful.

Ben

[Nede23]

Hi, what do you think about my entry?

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=292753